Leek Soup for the Swordsman's Soul:Amended Version
by SinisterBug
Summary: Yaoi. SanjixZoro. It all begins with a cold.
1. Soup For The Sick

Chapter Two: Soup for the Sick

_//What the hell are you saying?//_ Zoro's voice sounded menacing, despite the fact that the dialogue was only in his head.

The other seemed to ignore him. _**Zoro.// **_The other said admonishingly. _**// How much longer are you going to deny it? It's been three months since he joined the crew and you still won't admit it.//  
**__  
//Admit what.// _It wasn't phrased as a question, more of an irritated admission that the other had been talking to begin with.

_**//It's not like you to play dumb.**__**You know what I'm talking about.//  
**__  
//If you're saying -//_

_**//You-//**_

_//Don't go there-//_

_**//Love-//**_

_  
//So annoying-//_

_  
__**//the love cook. You know why I can say that, Zoro? Because I am you. You can lie to me all you want, but in the end you're only fooling yourself. And trust me, I'm not easy to fool.//**_

_//Whatever.//_ Even in Zoro's head that sounded pretty lame.

_  
__**//Then let's look at this logically. You know you've never been interested in women.//**_

_//So? That's your logic?//_

_**//That never bothered you, but what did bother you was when you discovered you were interested in men. And not just any man, you were interested in Sanji.//**_

_  
_The swordsman usually ended up realizing the inevitability and, in the end, _immaturity _(something swordsmen did _not_ have) of arguing with- essentially- himself.

_//...Why does it matter anyway? He loathes me just like I pretend to loathe him. No, I do loathe him. Love has nothing to do with it.//_

_**//Love, though you claim it a weakness, has everything to do with it.//**_

_  
_Zoro had only himself to blame for being so stubborn. _//Lets say, for a moment, that I concede that everything you say is true, which I'm not, but if I did, once again, Sanji.hates.me. My feel-… what I have to say on the issue is irrelevant. Not only that, he's in love with Nami and every other woman that has the misfortune of crossing his path.//_

_**//Going to let a little thing like that stop you? We'll jump that hurdle when we get there. At least I've gotten you to admit-//  
**__  
//Nothing.// _He snarled to himself. _//I said "if".//  
_

_**//You know, maybe if you were kinder to Sanji, he'd be less inclined to react aggressively to you.//**_

_//You know, maybe if I didn't have to listen to his Nami-love-noise all day I'd be less inclined to be so shitty to him.//_

_**//I bet you'd enjoy that love noise if it were Zoro-love-noise.//  
**__  
//That's not gonna happen. He's straighter than the Grandline.//_

_  
__**//Oh, I wouldn't call the Grandline straight, exactly.//**_

_//You know what I meant!// _He snarled again.

**//Yes yes. **_**Another obstacle to overcome when we reach it.//  
**__  
//Just let me sleep. Jesus, no wonder the shit cook hates me, I can barely tolerate myself.//_

_**//Fine, but you've got to promise to change.//  
**__  
//Promise myself?// _Zoro snorted.

_**//It's the best kind. You should know that. Let's make it a challenge, at that.//  
**__  
//Ch. Fine. I promise. I can change..._

_Can't I?//  
_  
Zoro drifted into sleep.

In the kitchen Sanji was busying himself over the stove.

"Ne Sanji." Said Luffy swallowing. "Do you really hate Zoro as much as you act like you do?"

Sanji stopped chopping the fragrant leek. He sighed heavily and turned around, frowning.

"Why are you asking this all of the sudden?"

Luffy's mouth was too full to reply. Nami looked at Luffy thoughtfully. "Why DO you guys fight? It's as if you guys are trying to make life miserable for each other. Of course, men are ridiculous, so I wouldn't put it past either of you."

"If my memory serves me correctly, Zoro got this way when Sanji came along. He didn't always used to be a jerk." Usopp said accusingly, with nerve unusual of him.

"That's not necessarily fair Usopp. Zoro's always been a little...anti-social. And it's not like he doesn't always start the fights." Nami said in the chef's defense.

"That's right Nami-w!" Sanji said singing while at the same time, miraculously sounding indignant. "Usually I'm just innocently going about-"

"-doing something that you know will piss him off and then he turns around and takes it out on EVERYBODY. " Usopp broke in.

Sanji opened his mouth to retort, but Luffy held up his hand.

"Enough."

Luffy's voice was unusually low and his face unusually stern.

"If Zoro-aniki and Sanji-kun can't learn to get along..."

Everyone drew in a baited breath. A moment's pause.

"We'll have to throw Zoro overboard."

"Idiot!" Nami yelled, smacking Luffy upside the head. "We're not throwing Zoro overboard!"

"Ow ow ow! But Nami! We can't throw the cook overboard! We'll starve!" He whined.

"We're not throwing anyone overboard! Zoro and Sanji are just going to have to learn to live with each other or they'll be swabbing the decks everyday for two months!" Nami said with a note of finality in her voice.

Sanji turned back to his soup. Luffy, Usopp, and Nami finished eating animatedly and returned to their respective daily places.

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief as they left.

_//I'm so tired. _

_This idiotic circus act is starting to get to me. What the hell is the point anyway? I'm sure Nami's told Luffy, the way they're always looking at each other. Usopp is oblivious. Zoro, of course, does not know._

_I guess those are the two I'm worried about anyway right?_

_Luffy I'm sure doesn't care and wouldn't be bothered by it. Usopp would give me hell until I broke his nose off and used it for a fucking golf tee...Zoro would definitely be bothered by it. Especially since..._

_He's the god damn object of my "affection". More like aggressive, extremely aggressive, I would almost say hatefully violent, lust. Yeah, that sounds more like it.//_

Sanji interrupted his thoughts to move the leek into the soup and start on the potatoes.

_//Never thought I'd have to rely on Nami this way. I definitely had a different scenario in mind, but she's been… great. But she thinks it's much simpler than it is. She thinks I should just admit I'm gay and see how Zoro reacts._

_She says she's known Zoro longer than me, but by what? Six months? I may have only known him for three, but I'm pretty sure it's not unreasonable to imagine three really sharp point objects at my throat after an admission like that._

_Maybe she's on to something when she says that Zoro may not care._

_Yeah, and I'm a rubber duck._

_Try a different approach. Try being decent to him. Maybe after a while you could become good friends-_

_Ch. Whatever. It's easy for her to say all that. All the while I'm so close to something I'll never have? Does WANT me to go insane?_

_It can be better than this. Yeah well, maybe not for me._

_I need to concentrate on this soup.//  
_  
Sanji numbed his thoughts and finished up the soup. With garlic as a last touch, he poured a fresh glass of orange juice and put everything on a tray. Picking up the tray, he braced himself and exited the back door of the kitchen.

None to his surprise, Zoro was sleeping on the deck.

_//Without a pillow or a blanket. No wonder he's sick. The stupid animal probably caught a cold.//_

"Oi. Marimo-kun. Wake up." He nudged the sleeping man with hid foot.

Zoro stirred, moaned, and turned over. Sanji sighed and set the tray down. He kneeled carefully over Zoro and placed his hand on the swordsman's forehead.

_//He's got a fever.//  
_  
He shook Zoro lightly.

"Oi jerk face! Wake up!"

Zoro inhaled deeply and opened one eye. The sight of Sanji first thing after nap seemed unsettle the formerly sleeping man.

"What the hell do you want?" Zoro said in a hoarse voice.

Sanji frowned and stood up.

"You've got a fever, jackass. I made this for you. Eat it. All of it. And stop sleeping outside or you'll get sick for real."

Sanji's gaze lingered a moment longer on Zoro before he turned on his heel to leave.

_**//Zoro you idiot! Say something!//  
**_  
"Hey!"

_**//Oh shit.//  
**_  
Sanji stopped and looked over his shoulder at Zoro.

"What?" He snapped. Not because he was particularly irritated, but this was the way they had come to interact with each other.

_**//Say something idiot! Say something!//  
**_  
"What's in it?"

_**//...Idiot.//**__  
_  
Sanji looked at Zoro for a moment, caught between puzzlement and eagerness for a reason to stay.

"Leek and garlic."

Zoro grimaced. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. "Leek? Could you have possibly have picked something more disgust-"

_**//No idiot! Be nice!//  
**_  
"I mean...thanks."

_**//Phew.//**__  
_  
Zoro was NOT blushing under Sanji's gaze and he certainly didn't tried to hide it by looking away.

Sanji was dumbstruck.

_//He must really be sick. Maybe I should talk to Luffy about finding a closer town...//  
_  
Sanji held up three fingers.

"How many fingers am I holding up, marimo?"

Zoro snorted in disgust.

"Shove it. All I said was thank you. Don't take it too personally."

_**//I thought the plan was to be nice?!//  
**_  
//_He thinks I'm off my rock.//_

"Your welcome, shit head." Sanji said, giving in. He turned and went back to the kitchen, leaving Zoro with the steaming bowl of soup and orange juice.

_**//Well you avoided what could have been a potentially explosive situation.//**__  
_  
_//He thinks I'm delirious.//_

_**//The more regularly you act this way, the better he'll respond to it. Patience is something you should know about.//  
**_


	2. Recognizing the Other Self

Leek Soup for the Swordsman's Soul: The Amended Version

Introduction by Sinisterbug

This story was one of my first major works. I wrote this in eighth grade, yet I still find the story relevant to my feelings and opinions about One Piece and, for being written by an eighth grader, I'd say it was moderately well written. However, it took a long time to write, so there are some chapters that are better than others, and some decidedly worse, and since I find myself with enough time and inclination to edit and re-work this story (though you'll find no major plot changes), I find no reason why I shouldn't. Many authors do not believe in going back to old works and re-writing them. To them, it is an important record of their early and, most often, less skilled works. It's important to be able to look back so that one can see the progress made. I can see their point, but I can also see mine. The truth is, I don't care for other people to know my progress. ;; I have the original copy of the story and should I want to cause myself endless amounts of embarrassment, I can go back and read it of my own accord. What I want is to improve my writing and stories so that a wider audience can be touched by them. That sounds a lot like saying, "I'm going to change this so that more people will like it, thus I'll get more reviews." However, and don't get me wrong, I do love and appreciate all the kindness and warmth and even criticism I get from reviews, but what's important to me is that I can cause my audience to emote and relate or be touched by, in some way, this story of mine. Of course, the setting is a non existent world of pirates, but just because it isn't what we encounter every day doesn't mean we can't gain something from it. Anyone who watches One Piece and does not learn some moral value or isn't touched by the strong bond of friendship and loyalty throughout the series is a sad individual indeed. What I hope to do is to accomplish even a small crumble of what Eichiro Oda does on a weekly basis, and that's touch people's lives.

And write man smut. (That's what _I_ want to do, that's not what Eichiro Oda does on a weekly basis. That I know of. I wish.)

So, hoping not to offend anyone about the small changes I'm about to make (such as excessive use of Japanese, commas, exclamation marks, fluff, OOC, sap, etc), please, if you've already read Leek Soup, do so again. Maybe, since it's a little easier to bear, it will be that much easier to be touched in some significant way. Please read on with an open mind.

//_Zoro A internal dialogue_

_**Zoro B internal dialogue//**_

Chapter One: Recognizing the Other Self

How long? How long were they required to sail on this blasted ship?!

Not to say that Roroana Zoro was growing in the least bit weary of his companions. No, in fact, he found Usopp's constant explosions, Nami's repetitious complaining, and Luffy's maniacal laughter quite comforting in the face of the love cook's sexual escapades.

To say that Sanji was taking a toll on the pirate hunter was an understatement. Everyday it was the same.

"Nami-swan! Your breakfast is ready!" Turning his adoring eyes from Nami when they would immediately turn to daggers he would say, "Yo pigs! Grubs up!"

He would serve Nami first at every meal, and only offer Nami a snack during the day. The rest of the time he was doting on Nami, offering his assistance, his livelihood, and life to the woman. If he wasn't doing that, he was complimenting her on everything from her looks to her charms.

_//Or rather, lack thereof.//_ Zoro thought bitterly. _//What's so great about her anyway? She's a conniving thief and a liar. I'll admit, she's strong. But she's still a __**woman**__. She's not even that cute. Sanji's a good lookin' guy. He could do better. Hell, what am I saying? I wouldn't wish him on anyone but Nami...Well, I'd almost feel sorry for her if she weren't such a bitch-//_

"If who weren't such a bitch? Talking to yourself when you think no one's around again, Zoro?" Came the perpetually exaggerating voice of Usopp. But Zoro didn't have to hear how close Usopp's voice was to tell he was in his face. He could feel Usopp's ripe breath washing over his face.

Without opening his eyes, Zoro said, "Usopp. You know about inventions don't you?"

Usopp stood up and smiled. "Of course! I'm the king of-"

"Toothbrush."

"What? I'm not the king of toothbrush-"

"No. And you never will be **unless you start using one.** Get your septic breath away from me. Now."

"But Sanji sent me to-"

"I'm not hungry." Zoro snapped and rolled over. Usopp stomped off, muttering angrily.

_//What the hell is my problem?//  
_  
"Zoro!"

Zoro flinched at the sound of his name being hollered by the angry cook. Giving up any hope of getting any sleep, Zoro abandoned his favorite nap spot and trudged to the kitchen to confront the source of noise. He was greeted by a tall, lithe, blonde holding a knife. A knife which was currently en route towards his head. Fortunately Zoro moved in time for the knife to miss its intended destination and instead hit the wall instead with a loud clang.

"What the hell do you mean you're not hungry?! You got a problem with my cooking?! To good for my food, is that it?"

Zoro stared indifferently at the enraged man in front of him.

_//I'd almost take him seriously if he weren't holding that spork.//  
_  
"Nothing to say for yourself eh? You think I'd just let you get away with insulting my cooking just becau-"

Zoro growled. "Shut it, asshole. If you have to know, I'm nauseous. I'll toss whatever food you feed me if I eat right now. Piss off monkey ass!"

Sanji seemed to have completely missed the point. "So, my food makes you nauseous eh? We'll see about that." Sanji tugged the knife out of the wall and turned back to his cooking.

"No you stupid piss worm, I said-"

"Fuck off." Sanji snapped. "It's not my problem if you starve."

Zoro, lacking the energy to fight back, left.

As soon as Zoro was out of sight, Sanji turned on his heel and made for his personal food storage closet.

"Stupid jackass fucker. Shoulda told me that to begin with..."

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Luffy flew into the kitchen knocking over several chairs as he went. Following him came Nami, picking up his mess along the way.

"Luffy I swear if you break anything significant, I'm not paying for it!"

"Usopp will blow up this ship before Luffy breaks something significant." Sanji's voice said, coming from the pantry.

"My experiments are carefully executed! I-" Usopp said, poking his head through the window.

"-want to blow us all to kingdom come." Nami broke in. "Where's Zoro?"

"That jerk is sleeping on the deck. He said he's not hungry." Usopp said despondently.

"Not hungry? Ne, Sanji, do you think Zoro is sick?" Luffy said, concerned.

Sanji returned from the pantry carrying a bulb of leek and several other herb-ish looking plants. He also carried a bowl full of oranges.

"Aaaw! Is that dessert? Leek and oranges?" Luffy protested.

Sanji began setting out these ingredients on the counter, his hands working deftly, grabbing utensils and bowls and more ingredients from the cabinet. "Yes, no, and yes. I do think Marimo-kun is sick, no this is not dessert, and yes, this is leek and oranges. Only you would come to the conclusion that if someone wasn't hungry they must be sick. But this should cure whatever's ailing the stupid fucker." Sanji said, frowning.

"Heee." Luffy said, smiling at Nami. Nami winked at Luffy.

"What?" Sanji snapped.

"Nothing." They said simultaneously and began to eat.

On the deck, Zoro still could not sleep.

_//Why does everything have to be such a big deal with that jackass? I'm not hungry, so what? Like anyone could justifiably insult his cooking anyway. He's just fishing for compliments. God damn he's such a stupid curly brow! Why am I even on this boat enduring this ship anyway? Because they're my friends. At least Luffy and Nami are. Usopp is...Usopp. But Sanji's just a shitty cook. Yup. That's all he is. A shitty fucking cook.// _Zoro was content to leave it at that.

_**//The damned coolest shitty cook you've ever met though.//  
**__  
//What?// _Zoro sat up and looked around to see who was talking.

_**//Well lets think about this rationally Zoro.// **_

It hit him, not like a ton of bricks, but more like a pillow to the face. Not terribly dangerous, but startling nonetheless. _//Great. I've been at sea way too long. I've got voices in my head.//_

_**//Voice. As in singular. And you've been at sea for less than a year.//**_

_//Well that's very reassuring.// _He settled back down and closed his eyes.

_**//Since you seem to have the time, just listen. Sure, Sanji's got his bad points. But we all do. Now lets think about his good points.//  
**__  
//They don't exist.//_

_**//He's a good fighter.//  
**__  
//That's a given, __**and**__ a prerequisite to even being on this ship. Doesn't count.// _

_**//What about that eyebrow eh? Pretty damn cool.//  
**__  
//Lame. If you've got nothing better than that-//_

_**// How about his past? Look at where he's coming from. You can relate to a tough past. He's strong, he's-//  
**__  
//A damned stubborn fool. Nami's been through worse-//_

_**//He's kind.//  
**__  
_Zoro snorted. //_To Nami.//_

_**//Does that mean you're jealous?//**_

_//No. It means I'm sick of hearing him-//_

_**//Fawn over Nami?//  
**__  
//Damn right.//_

_**//Would you rather him fawn over you?//  
**__  
//Just what the hell are you saying?//_

_**//Well it's certainly no secret...//**_


	3. Falling Asleep and Not Waking Up

Chapter Three: Falling Asleep and Not Waking Up

Zoro ate the soup which, for being full of disgusting slimy leek, was very good.

_//He's so damned talented.// _Had he said it aloud, he would have been grumbling._  
_  
He wasn't taking Sanji's advice, he had planned on doing it eventually, so Zoro retired to the room that he shared with the cook, Usopp, and Luffy. Crawling into the hammock, he noticed his nausea had subsided.

_// That shitt know it all.//  
_  
Zoro slowly drifted off to sleep.

When dinner rolled around, Sanji asked Usopp to fetch Zoro for dinner.

"No! I'm tired of being the victim!" Usopp said dramatically and stomped off to the kitchen. Nami and Luffy were already seated at the table so Sanji trudged to the bedroom, muttering obscenities about lazy swordsman along the way. Zoro was sleeping quietly on the hammock.

Sanji had his leg halfway to the swordsman's stomach when it occurred to him;

_//Quietly? He never sleeps quietly. Bastard keeps me up all night snoring.//  
_  
Sanji lit the lamp on the table and held it closer to better inspect the green haired man. Zoro's breathing was shallow and he was soaked in sweat. The normally golden bronze skin was a sickly pale color. Sanji placed his hand to Zoro's forehead.

_// He's on fire. Should I wake him up.?//_

Sanji was not an expert in the field of medicine to say the least.

_//Do I wake him or let him sleep? Maybe he just needs to rest but, he looks really fucking sick. I'll feel better if I could hear the asshole say something at least. Maybe I'll just wake him for a minute.//  
_  
Sanji squeezed Zoro's shoulder and shook it with tenderness he had never thought he would ever show the swordsman.

"Oi Zoro. Wake up."

Zoro did not stir this time. His head rolled in a sickly, limp motion to the side.

"Zoro." Sanji said louder this time, his shaking becoming more frantic. "Zoro! Wake up damn it!"

As the panic crept slowly inside him, his throat feeling oddly constricted, Sanji mentally checked himself.

_//He's still breathing. He just won't wake up. His fever- He's all wet from sweating like this and he's shivering but he's so hot- We have to get him to a doctor-//  
_  
The door opened and Luffy peered in. "Ne Sanji-"

"Luffy something's wrong with Zoro. We need to change course and get to the nearest town quick. He won't wake up and he's got a bad fever-"

"I'll get Nami." Luffy turned and left. Sanji kept running his thumb across Zoro's forearm, hoping the contact would somehow help the idiot wake up.

_//Come on you bastard. Wake up and tell me to get my filthy hands off you or something! Call me a pervert, please just wake up-//  
_  
Nami burst through the door. Without saying a word she lit several more lamps and came to Zoro's side.

"Let's move him to the couch Sanji. He'll be more comfortable that way. There's an island near here, and according to my map we should be there before dawn if the wind is favorable. Usopp is getting a towel and a bowl of water, okay? We need to try and bring his fever down-"

"But he's shivering-"

"I know. But if we put him under a blanket now his fever will only get worse. We need to try and cool him off." Nami looked determined but sympathetic. "Sanji-" She lowered her voice considerably. "I know how you feel, but we have to do something. He's not going to get better just by you looking at him." Her voice was firm.

Sanji nodded.

"I need you to carry him."

Sanji lifted Zoro from the hammock and carried him to Nami's room.

_//He's not as heavy as I thought he'd be. With all of that muscle I thought he'd weigh a ton.//  
_  
"Sanji? You can put him down now." Nami said. Sanji obviously thought he was alone with his thoughts. He blushed and gently laid Zoro on the sofa. Usopp came in, handed the bowl and towel to Nami, glanced and Zoro, and promptly left. Nami rolled her eyes and began sponging away some of the sweat from Zoro's brow and neck.

Sanji stood dumbly at the end of the couch, wishing he had something to do.

//There's nothing I can do. I can't fight sickness for him. He wasn't that sick when I saw him at lunch. That soup should have brought his fever down, it always worked for that old geezer when he used it on me. Did I make it wrong"//

"Sanji? It's getting late. It's best to just let him rest. I'm going to bed- "

"Where? Don't you usually sleep in here?" Sanji said, his voice somewhat hollow. His eyes had glazed over and though he seemed to be looking at Zoro, he was obviously far away.

//Did I do this to him? Was it me?//

Nami yawned. "It's nice out tonight. I'm just gonna take some extra pillows and blankets and sleep on the deck-"

"That's how he got sick."

Nami frowned. "I don't think so. This is obviously more than a cold, don't you think? I mean, the man was nearly sliced in half before and he pulled through that one just fine. It would take more than a cold to bring him to this."

The navigator got up and patted Sanji on the shoulder.

"Why don't you just tell him and get it over with?"

Wherever Sanji's mind had been drifting, it was no longer there, having been ripped back to the situation at hand.

"What?"

Nami smiled.

"You are my nakama Sanji. I want you to be happy. It shouldn't take dramatic events to make people realize how they feel about each other because by then, it's usually too late. Trust me. I know that better than anyone."

Sanji sighed. "It's not an easy thing."

"It is. Why don't you tell him now?" She said, heading for the door.

Sanji snorted. "Yeah, just when he's gonna hear me the least."

Nami took one of the lamps and left. Sanji sat down in front of the couch, his head resting on the edge.

_//I love you.//  
_  
"I'm a coward."

_//I can't even tell him now. It's not like it's going to hurt. I'm not afraid of it hurting. I'm afraid he won't hear me, and I'll never be able to say it again.//  
_  
Sanji sighed. "Zoro you jerk. Just wake up so I can say it to your face. So that I can tell you how you've driven me insane. How much I... love you." The last two words were barely a whisper.

Despite being exhausted for no apparent reason, Sanji did not sleep. Every time he closed his eyes all he could see was Zoro, laying the way he was on the couch, floating in blackness. But the man never stirred. His shallow breathing did not even out and the only movement by Zoro was an occasional shiver despite his fever. Sanji never moved from the swordsman's side. He stayed where he was even as light spilled through the single window to the room.

"Land hoooo!" Came Luffy's voice from the crow's nest.

Sanji blinked.

_//I should move._

_But I don't want to.//_


	4. Distant But Familiar Lands

Chapter Four: Distant but Familiar Lands

When Zoro awoke, a severe sense of disorientation set in. To begin with, and most importantly, he had not the slightest clue where he was. But this matter didn't occur as important to him immediately, as he was feeling quite light hearted for some reason.

_//That's a cool ceiling fan. Ceiling fan...ceiling fan...The Going Merry doesn't have a ceiling fan. I wonder if Usopp made it...//_

_**//Everything Usopp makes explodes.//  
**__  
//Maybe I should give him more credit. He defeated that Chu guy all by himself, and he survived an encounter with Daddy the Father.//_

_**//Still. What. A. Nose.//.  
**__  
//You know what's sad though? That long nosed jerk has a girlfriend and I don't.//_

_**//You don't want a girlfriend.//  
**__  
_Zoro sat up and looked around.

_//This isn't the Going Merry.//  
_  
It certainly was not. Zoro found himself to be in a large, well furnished room with exotic rugs hanging and laying all over the walls and floors. As for himself, he was in a canopy bed with red silk sheets and a mass of pillows at his head. To his right, a few feet from the bed, was a large window with the curtain drawn.

_//My swords.//  
_  
Zoro threw off the cover, locating his katana by subsequently knocking them (as they had been placed at the foot of the bed) to the floor.

_//Only a complete idiot would put my swords where I could reach them. IF I were being held captive. I'm gonna take an educated guess and say that isn't the case. Got my swords, got my...clothes?//  
_  
Well, sort of.

Zoro found himself, not in his own clothes, but in a pair of Arabian style, loose fitting pants that cuffed about four inches above each ankle. They were a dark green color. A gold sash was tied around his waist in place of a belt. His torso was bare as were his feet. Except for his own bandana, which was still tied around his arm, he was wearing nothing else of his own.

_//My earrings.//  
_  
Zoro's hand flew to his ear. The earrings were still in place. It was then he noticed this was not the only jewelry he was wearing. There were gold cuffs he had not noticed before around each wrist and one on his right, upper arm. There were thin, gold looped ankle bracelets on his ankles. Three for both ankles.

_//Why does this seem so familiar?//  
_  
"Zoro!"

Nami standing in the doorway wearing a similar style garb. Decked almost artistically in shear pinks and golds, her voluptuous figure was complimented and accentuated at every curve and turn. Her midriff was displayed proudly with tattoo designs that made a circumference just below her navel. She had twice the amount of jewelry on as Zoro, with small jewels bedecked about her face. She wore a shear pink veil over her head. In spite of himself, Zoro was somewhat speechless.

"Well? Aren't you going to say how beautiful I look?" Nami cooed and did a twirl.

Not that speechless.

"Where the hell am I?" Zoro demanded.

Nami frowned and rolled her eyes. "I liked you better asleep. We're on the island of Bertonneau."

_//That rings a bell...//  
_  
"You're sick, so at Sanji's behest, we have whisked you away to the nearest, most convenient island-"

_//Say what?//  
_  
"Hold up, Sanji?"

Nami smiled slyly. "Yes. Sanji especially. Anyway-"

"What do you mean, especially?" Zoro interrupted.

_//What the hell is this woman getting at?//  
_  
"Well he was afraid that it was the soup he made for you that made you sick. As the chef, of course he felt responsible. He stayed awake to watch over you every night since you fell asleep-"

"How long was I asleep?"

"Three days."

_//Right, of course a chef is gonna feel shitty if he poisons someone. And he's nakama. If anything, we're at least nakama.//_

_**//Excuses excuses.//  
**_  
"Nami...what was I sick with? And… why was Sanji so worried?"

Nami looked at Zoro earnestly. She moved to the bed and sat down. Zoro sat down beside her.

"I'll answer your second question first. It's because he cares about you Zoro. He really does."

Zoro furrowed his brow and ran his hand through his hair.

"Kinda...kinda how Luffy cares about me? A-and I care about you?"

Nami sighed and put her hand on Zoro's shoulder. Zoro thought it might as well be a poisonous cobra resting by his neck.

"Zoro, have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Zoro would have tensed more, if he possibly could. "What the hell kind of question-"

"Zoro." Nami's voice was even and serious. "Just answer my question."

Zoro put his head in his hands and sighed. "No."

"Why?"

//God damn woman.//

"I never wanted one. Never needed one. Still don't."

"Still don't need one, or still don't want one?"

Zoro felt an unexpected frustration rise in his chest. There was a dam building up inside of him suddenly, causing an unbearable amount of pressure.

_//I won't break. I can't. If she finds out she'll tell everyone else and that will be the end of me. I don't want to be known as a fruit- I can't, I won't-//_

_**//But why should you have to hide?//**__  
_  
_//I'm not hiding.//_

_**//Then what are you doing? Lying?//**_

_//No!//_

**//Let it go. You shouldn't have to be punished because of who you love. You're only putting these limiting yourself.//  
**  
_//I can't...//_

_**//Let go.//**_

_//...I'll fall.//_

_**//Someone will be there to catch you Zoro.//  
**_  
"I'm gay."

Just as he expected, the pressure flooded out of him, leaving Zoro feeling deflated and tired, aside from the already prevalent physical ailments. He looked at Nami. To his surprise, Nami's eyes were almost shining. There was the barest hint of a smile teasing at her lips. Zoro stood up suddenly.

"I shouldn't have told you. I knew you'd laugh-"

"Zoro wait. I'm not laughing! I swear! I wouldn't! Please just sit down. You're still recovering."

Zoro didn't need to sit back down. Gravity and the sheer weakness in his knees accomplished that for him.

Nami's small smile had broken into a full grin.

Zoro growled. "What?! So I'm gay! Wanna make something of it?"

Nami laughed. "Oh just calm down! I'm not laughing at you. It's just this whole situation is so ironic and I can't believe we've all been together for so long and no one's confessed!"

"What do you mean "no one"? Are we all gay now?" Zoro said sarcastically.

Nami sighed. "That's not what I meant. Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Oh don't be stupid. Will you answer me honestly, no matter what I ask?"

Zoro sunk back onto the bed and sighed again. "What have I got to lose now? Go ahead, ask away."

_//Just don't ask me if I'm in love with Sanji. Please don't ask me that.//  
_  
"Are you top or bottom?" Nami said evenly as if she were asking about the weather.

Zoro's body couldn't help but jerk right back up off the bed. "WHAT THE HELL? WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT SHE-DEVIL?!?!"

Nami lost herself for a moment and broke into a fit of giggles very much unlike her. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. I had to. I couldn't help myself. But I was hoping your nose would start bleeding or something. Oh well. Okay, now for my real question-"

"No. No more questions." Zoro made to stand up, but Nami pulled him back down. He didn't seem to have enough strength to fight her off.

"Quit exhausting yourself Zoro dear. You'll get an ulcer."

"I'm not exhausting myself, you are. And don't call me "dear"." Zoro retorted.

"So are you in love with Sanji or what?"

Zoro felt like a bucket of freezing cold water had been dumped over his head. He could feel the color draining from his face, and as quickly as it had left, it came back, burning, and he could tell he was blushing.

Nami's jaw dropped. "You are. No way you actually ARE! I thought-"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh give it up, but your secret is safe with me. I wouldn't ever tell a soul. You can trust me. I promise."

_// This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. Now she knows. And I'll be damned if she doesn't go and tell him as soon as she's out of my sight. Shit. She's probably getting a sick pleasure out of knowing what Sanji will do once he finds out.//_

"Oi, why are you so happy about this? It's not like that. And it's not like I'll ever tell the bastard how I feel. He'd probably kick my ass from here to the Grand Line-"

"Why do you say that?" Nami asked, suddenly serious.

Zoro coughed deliberately. "Tell me Nami, what has he been doing ever since he met you?"

"Uh… "

"Chasing your skirt. Which, I think, pretty clear implies…" He let her finish the sentence. His head was starting to pound again.

"He likes me."

"Which would imply that..." He repeated.

"He...likes women?"

"Exactly. Women. Not men. Where do I fit in that equation?"

"Um..."

"NOWHERE." Zoro said, wishing he had the energy to get up and pace the room. "So don't even think about trying to play match maker. You can't put apples and oranges together if the apple has unrequited love for the orange, who only likes bananas."

"Sanji doesn't like bananas actually. He's allergic to them. He likes apples though." Nami said matter-of-factly.

Zoro sighed. "Nami, you swore my secret was safe with you. Can I hold you to that?"

Nami looked disappointed. "Of course. I won't tell Sanji you're madly and desperately in love with him and dream about him every night and whisper his name in your sleep-"

"Woman-"

"Okay okay. But you should probably lay down. I have to go get Dr. Jax and tell him your awake."

//Jax?//

"Oh Nami, what did I have?" Zoro said as Nami headed for the door, suddenly remembering something.

Nami stopped and turned. "Um...it was called King's Evil. Dr. Jax said it was a mild case-"

"Jax? King's Evil? Are you sure?"

Nami looked perplexed. "Yeah. Oh yeah! Um, the doctor kinda acted like he knew you when Sanji carried you in-"

"Sanji carried me?"

Nami rolled her eyes. "I thought we went over this. Anyway, I asked him if he did, and he said, "Yeah, in a way." I thought he meant that maybe he'd heard of you."

"What's the name of this island again?"

"Bertonneau. Do you know this guy?"

Zoro felt numb. "Yeah...I do. In a way."

"Okay...well… I'll be right back." Nami left.


	5. A Stolen Kiss From An Old Friend

Chapter Five: A Stolen Kiss from an Old Friend

Sanji knew he should be dead tired. He hadn't gotten any sleep in days, not since Zoro went into a coma. But try as he might, he couldn't sleep.  
_  
//I'm lying in the most comfortable bed I've laid in for weeks, and I can't get one fucking wink and it's all that bastards fault. Not that he can help being sick, but if he would just be a fucking normal human being and sleep __**inside**__ and eat regularly, he wouldn't get sick. But no, leave it to the idiot to give me an anxiety attack by slipping into a coma. If he doesn't kick it from being sick, I'll kill him when he wakes up.//_

Sanji growled in frustration and grabbed two pillows, stuffing one over each ear.

"This is useless. I won't be able to sleep until that moron wakes up." Sanji got out of his bed and went to the closet that they had provided him.  
_  
//I could certainly use some decent clothes but these…. I'm too pale to show so much damn skin. Zoro doesn't look half bad in __**his**__ clothes. Ch, who am I kidding? He looks like a fucking god.//  
_  
In the end Sanji decided to combine pieces with the most surface area from two outfits to make one. He took a black pair pants, slim black boots, and a red sash from one outfit, and a skin tight black, sleeveless shirt from another outfit.

The cook studied himself in the mirror.

_//Not bad. Guess I could use one of those twirly arm thingies.//  
_  
Sanji grabbed the gold arm cuff from off of the dresser.

_//Doesn't get any more perfect than this.//  
_  
Smoothing his hair in a couple of places, Sanji abandoned his room. By default he immediately headed for Zoro's room.

Zoro waited impatiently on his bed.

_// Of all the god damn places in all the god damn world we end up here on that_ _bastard's island and I've contracted King's Evil. Well shit.//  
_  
_**//Maybe this way you can resolve some things.//  
**_  
_//I don't want to resolve __**anything.**__ I don't want to think about him. I don't want to remember anything. I just want to get on the Merry and get the hell outta here.//  
_  
_**//So you don't care anymore?//**_

_//I forgot about him a long time ago. And he probably did the same thing.//  
_  
_**//Then why does this situation bother you so much?//  
**_  
_//He betrayed me. Am I supposed to relish that memory? I don't tend to purposely put myself in harms way. //  
_  
_**//Really? And this, coming from Roroana Zoro, the man trying to become the best swordsman in the world.//  
**_  
_//You know what I mean.//  
_  
_**//But do you? And what about Sanji?//  
**_  
_//What about him?//_

_**//You tell me.//**_

Zoro sighed and went to the window. He pulled open the curtain. The sight that met him was something to behold. Stretched before him was a vast city of clay houses and a huge bustling market street. There were thousands of people making their way to and from buildings. Large animals carrying bundles were led by people through the bustling crowds.

_//I wonder why I didn't realize where I was sooner. The clothes should have been a dead give away.//  
_  
_**//Well you had a lot to deal with at once. Where you were, why you were there, what was wrong, Sanji etc.//**_

_//Sanji.//  
_  
"Zoro." Came a voice from the doorway.

Zoro didn't turn around. "Kell."

The man in the doorway took that as permission to enter the room. He was adorned similarly to Zoro, colors being the only different. Where Zoro was wearing green, the other man wore a dark, midnight blue and gold. His dark hair, which made it a few inches past shoulder length, was tied back in a delicate tail. At first glance his hair was black. But when the sun shined on it just right, you could see that there was a gleam of blue to it. He was handsome. His complexion was like Zoro's, as was his build. He was slightly taller than Zoro, however.

"You shouldn't be up right now. I didn't really expect you to wake up for another couple of days at the earliest."

"I've gotten stronger." Zoro turned around and the other man an analyzing look. "You don't look any different."

Kell smiled. "I haven't changed much. _You_ look a lot different." The doctor walked over to Zoro with no hesitation, giving Zoro an almost challenging look.

"Especially-" Kell ran his finger along the scar on Zoro's chest. "this." His finger rest above Zoro's navel. "How the hell did this happen?"

Zoro's eyes burned through the man. He took Kell's hand and shrugged it off, walking past him to sit down on the edge of the bed. "Mihawk."

Zoro could hear the sharp intake of breath indicating Kell's surprise. He couldn't help but quirk a small grin, despite his overall displeasure with the situation. "Surprised? You never thought I'd amount to anything. But I'm doing it."

"Zoro, I never-"

"How long until I'm fit to travel? I want to leave as soon as possible."

Kell moved into Zoro's line of vision. The look on his face was stern. "You have type B Zoro. You won't be seaworthy for at least a week. You of all people should know that you can't rush a recovery with this-"

Zoro stood up. "I'm stronger than I was. We'll be gone in a day or two-"

"Zoro listen to me." Kell's countenance went from stern to almost pleading. "Please. If you won't listen to me as a friend, then listen to me as a doctor. You will not survive if you push it. I know you're stronger. I can see it in your eyes. I saw it when you were carried in here half dead. You SHOULD have been dead. And a few years ago you would have been. But you're not invincible, not yet. Please just stay. A week. That's all I'm asking."

Zoro sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"A week. And then I'm gone."

The relief in Kell's face was obvious.

"Good. Now-"

"You're awake." Sanji stood in the doorway. "Took you long enough. I had to do your cleaning duties on the ship while you were napping you stupid bastard." Sanji took a drag on the cigarette he'd been smoking.

Zoro snorted. "You never do YOUR duties, how in the hell are you gonna say you did mine?"

Sanji grinned and flicked the cigarette out. "Good to have you back." He nodded at Kell and turned to leave.

_**//Idiot! Thank him or something!//  
**_  
Zoro got up and hurriedly stumbled to the door, not quite having the energy to run. "Oi! Cook!"

Sanji turned and paused.

Zoro could feel his face getting hot.

_//This feels familiar.//  
_  
"Uh...thanks...for...looking after me. Nami said… you took care of me."

Sanji blushed as well.

_//Is he...blushing?//  
_  
"Oh...well, yeah. Nakama and what not." Sanji coughed and quirked an awkward smile.

Zoro smiled back with equal awkwardness. Sanji bit his lip and left.

_//I feel...like...I'm floating...//  
_  
"Is that your boyfriend?"

The balloon Zoro had just been floating on popped.

"That's none of your business." He snapped.

Kell smiled. "I see. So he is."

Zoro growled. "No, he's not." He leaned against the wall, suddenly feeling very tired.

Kell was suddenly in his face again, his arms on either side of Zoro's head. "So then you're still available?"

Before Zoro could spat a nasty reply, Kell's lips had already melded against the swordsman's.

_**//Why aren't you fighting?//  
**_  
Zoro grabbed Kell's shoulders and shoved him off.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Did I interrupt something?" Came Nami's obviously irritated voice from the doorway. Her eyes were daggers.

"Not a damn thing." Zoro said, slightly short of breath. "Where is everyone else?"

"Luffy and Usopp are in the kitchen with _Sanji._ _Sanji_ was just getting ready to make lunch. _For __**you**_. Because that's what _Sanji_ does. Because he _cares_ about _you_. He wouldn't ever go around _cooking_ for _other_ _people_."

Zoro threw Kell a deadly look before saying, "I'll join you." Despite his physical exhaustion, he followed Nami down the hall. Once she was sure Kell was out of ear shot, Nami started in on him.

"I thought you said you-"

"_I_ didn't kiss him, _he_ kissed _me_. It was _not_ mutual. And before you go getting any ideas, I meant what I said. Kell is... an old flame. Nothing more. Apparently we don't share the same view on this situation. Do _not_ tell the cook. Or anyone else." Zoro said quickly.

Nami looked relieved. "Have you seen Sanji yet?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what did you say?"

"Why do you want to know? I already told you, nothing is going to happen."

Nami sighed, aggravated. "I hate men. I really do."

"What about Luffy?" Zoro said as they went through a pair of double doors.

"What about me?" Said Luffy, who was sitting on the counter next to Sanji, who was busy chopping some ingredient. Usopp was sitting at a table, tinkering with some sort of device. "ZORO'S AWAKE! GOMU GOMU NO STRETCH!"

Luffy's arms shot out and caught Zoro by either shoulder. Luffy came zooming behind them. The rubber boy smashed into Zoro, knocking them both to the floor. Before Zoro could recover Luffy said, "GOMU GOMU NO WELCOME BACK SMOOCH!"

"No-no-NOO!"

But it was too late.

Five minutes later, Luffy sat pouting on the counter with a large bump on his head shaped like a frying pan. Sanji kept shooting death glares at the captain. Zoro sat, somewhat dazed and confused, across from Usopp and next to Nami.

_//That's twice today. What, do I have "Molest Me" written on my forehead?//_


	6. Memories

Chapter Six: Memories

* * *

Line breaks indicate flash backs

* * *

"So what exactly is King's Evil?" Usopp said, setting down the device he had been tinkering with. "No offense, but your doctor friend wasn't really forthcoming."

"I wouldn't exactly call him a _friend_." Zoro said, irritated.

" He seemed really happy to see you-"Usopp began.

"Yeah." Sanji interrupted. "He acted like you two were old friends or something."

"I didn't really think so. "Nami said, giving Zoro a wink. "He seemed kinda vague about it."

Zoro cleared his throat and rubbed his temples. His head was still killing him. "Kell is-"

"Kell?" Said Luffy, Usopp and Sanji simultaneously.

"The doctor. Kell Jax. I… lived here for a while, back when I had just started out bounty hunting. This place was a haven for scumbags. It didn't take me long to get rid of most of them, they weren't much to speak of. At least nothing like what we've faced lately. But Kell was pissed back then because those were his main patients. I was screwing up his business."

* * *

Zoro leaned against a tree, enjoying a cool breeze in his rare moments alone.

_//This place isn't so bad. Could do without a couple things though. Namely that jerk doctor. Woulda killed him and not bothered with his self righteous monologue in the first place if I wasn't so god damn attracted to the tree hugging bastard.//  
_  
A rustle in the bushes was Zoro's only warning before he was surrounded by some of the weirdest looking pirates he'd ever seen. He would have been surprised, if he hadn't already dispatched the majority of these creeps the day before.

"Roroana Zoro! You killed my partner. Prepare to die!" Zoro recognized the one shouting as one he'd let escape. His method was to take down the big guys and usually the weaker ones would just run away. It wasn't worth the effort to take them down if he wasn't going to get paid, and they didn't merit further pursuit because they knew the Marines would be around soon after Zoro came through anyway.

"Well well well. If it isn't the black head gang-"

"Aaaargh!" The one Zoro had recognized stamped his foot. "These are supposed to be bullets! We're the Bullet Gang! See?!" He motioned to the black cap he was wearing on his head.

"Whatever. You're shitty pirate with a lousy theme to me." Zoro said, stretching leisurely. "So, came back for more? Should I kill you quickly or just let the marines hall your asses in? "

"DIE ASSHOLE!"

All the pirates rushed him at once. It didn't take much to bring the all down except the one whose partner he had killed.

"And then there was one. If I was going to do this badly at avenging someone, I would just stay hom-"

Pain seared through Zoro's left thigh. The swordsman couldn't move. The Bullet Pirate laughed manically.

"You _fool_. You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders. The first is never get involved in a sea war on the Grand Line, but only slightly less known is this; never go in against a Bullet Pirate when death is on the line!"

Zoro sliced off the pirate's head. It fell to the ground next to his foot and he kicked it into the bushes. He looked at his left thigh. There was a long, thick, metal needle sticking through it.

_//Fuck. Poisoned.//  
_  
Zoro grabbed the needle and pulled it out. The agony made his knees weak. He became dizzy and lost his balance. Everything was black.

When he came to, he saw a bright light.

_//Am I...dead? Shit that would suck. Where the hell am I? That's a cool ceiling fan…//  
_  
Zoro blinked a couple of times and things came into focus. The bright light was actually a florescent light. Zoro lifted his head to look around. He was in a hospital room.

His stomach lurched violently and he groaned.

"I'm gonna puke."

"Trash can's on your right. Hope your aim's good, I'll make you clean up whatever doesn't make it in." Came a voice from somewhere out of Zoro's sight.

Zoro tried to sit up again, but he found he could barely move. His nausea was excruciating.

"Where am I? Who are you?"

"You're in my hospital. And I'm Kell-"

"Jax. You bastard. What the hell did you do to me?!" Zoro tried to sit up again, but a strong pair of hands pushed him back down. The doctor chuckled and took a seat on the side of Zoro's bed with a chart in his lap.

"Calm down. Even if you _are_ the bane of my business, I would never compromise my position as a doctor."

Zoro stopped trying to get up. He couldn't have done it even if he'd tried anyway. There was nothing left in him it seemed.

"What's wrong with me?" He croaked.

"You were hit with one of Ferguson's poisoned needles. His crew is, or _was _famous for that, thanks to you. They specialized in killing slowly, causing a lot of suffering. The needles are coated with a bacterium that infects the victim with King's Evil disease. It's one of the deadliest and most miserable diseases I've ever known. Fortunately for you, Bertonneau is one of the only islands in the world with the plant that carries the cure. It's called King's Heart. And since I'm one of the world's best doctors and am always prepared for anything, I have plenty of the vaccine. You're just lucky I found you when I did."

"How long until I can leave?"

Kell got up. "Hopefully not for a long time so I can get some business again. But I'd say it'll be a month before you're back to normal-"

"A month!?" Zoro again tried to get up and failed. He growled in frustration. "What the hell am I supposed to do for a month? Fuck! This is _just_ what I need right now. A fucking disease. You should have let me die. I'd rather die than be cooped up in a fucking hospital with a pirate lover-"

"I _could_ have let you die." Kell's tone was icy. "But I didn't. I'd be a little more grateful if I were you- "

"Well you're not me. That's pretty damn obvious."

Kell pinched the bridge of nose, apparently at his limit of patience. "Besides being a pirate hunter, what is it _exactly_ that you have against all pirates?"

"They're murderers. They rape, pillage, and destroy." Zoro said, almost mechanically.

"All of them? Every single last one?"

"Probably. But I don't care if one is _just_ a rapist but doesn't steal, or that one's a murderer and not a rapist. They're all the same, and you gladly help them and take their dirty money." Strangely enough, Zoro's frustration and anger seemed to be helping him recover. He sat up and the pain and nausea he felt only a moment ago were subsiding. The anger seemed to be helping his pain.

"Really?" Kell's indignation was also becoming apparent. "Just like everyone who _isn't_ pirate is innocent? Because pirates are the only ones who kill? Pirates are the only ones who steal, lie, rape, and murder? Pirates-"

"How many innocent, hard working people do you go out of your way to help? People who don't have as much money as the thieving scumbags and can't afford your help?" Zoro was almost shouting. They stared at each other for a moment, anger radiating from both of them.

"Not to mention," Zoro continued, "I'm hard pressed to find any good natured, hard working _pirates_ around here. Don't tell me you thought Ferguson was a good man."

"Of course not. But I take the chance that there are some decent pirates out there, just like you so easily have faith that there are decent people out there. I won't refuse anyone medical help because of who they are." Kell shifted uncomfortably where he stood.

"You won't refuse pirates medical help because you want the money." Zoro said simply.

"And you hunt pirates because _you_ need the money." Kell retorted.

Zoro was frowned, silent. The man had a point, even if it was a weak one. He would retort that he hunted bounties because it was a convenient way to train, but it would be a lie to say that was the only reason he did it.

"And so what? Should I leave these _potential _murderers and liars alone to ruin more people's lives just because you were here first? Not that I agree, but just say for a moment we both have a worthy cause. I'm just supposed to leave?" Zoro said, crossing his arms.

Kell scratched the back of his head. "I'm not asking you to _leave, _Zoro. I just want you to stop killing all my potential patients! I mean… It'd be a shame if you left. You've caused quite a stir. But you also remind me of what an old man I've become at such a young age."

"Assumed risk of such a profession."

Kell laughed and shook his head. "I guess we're at odds with each other. I don't want you to leave, but you're making business pretty scarce. You don't want to leave, but I can't just let you scare off all my business. What's a pair like us to do? "

Zoro stood up despite Kell's protests and noticed one thing not worth noticing, that he was in a hospital gown, and the other he _should_ have noticed immediately, his swords were gone.

"Where are my swords?"

"They're in that cabinet over there. You should really be resting."

"Where are my clothes?"

"They're being washed."

"Who changed me?"

Kell smiled. "Modest?"

"No. Just hope you don't feel too intimidated." Zoro flicked off the measly hospital gown and walked naked to the shower just a few feet away.

_//This guy... there isn't another man in the world I could possibly be this irritated with and still want to jump his bones. Man… what the hell am I doing?//_

"I wasn't all that intimidated really." Kell said with a smirk, heading for the door.

"You're either a fool or a liar." Zoro said evenly, turning the shower on and testing the water.

Kell stopped at the door and turned around.

"I'm neither a fool, nor a liar. I'm simply... evenly matched."

Zoro cocked an eyebrow and stepped into the shower, letting the steaming water roll down his bare skin.

"Prove it."

Kell's eyes widened. He coughed. "Feeling alright?"

Zoro smiled and closed his eyes, enjoying the hot water caressing him. "Better than I was earlier. So, gonna prove it or take it back?"

Kell's mouth twitched. "And how do you propose I do that?"

"You're the doctor. Think of something creative."

_//He didn't mention anything about a sudden libido increase and irrational boldness being symptoms.//  
_  
Kell threw his chart on Zoro's bed and closed the door. He toed off his shoes slowly, never taking his eyes off Zoro. He undid the dark blue sash that was tied around his waist. Zoro opened his eyes and watched Kell slide his pants off slowly.

_//Evenly matched indeed. That bastard.//  
_  
Kell smirked as if he knew what Zoro was thinking.

"Well, I hope you get the point. I'll be back to check on you later-whoa!"

Zoro reached out and yanked Kell in the shower, shirt still on. He grabbed the collar of the offending material with both hands and ripped it down the center.

"Hey that-"

"Shut up."

Zoro tossed the shirt across the room. Looking Kell straight in the eyes he pulled the other man close, kissing him heatedly. He pulled away immediately and said, "Is this supposed to happen? Some side effect from the medicine?" His voice was breathy. Waiting for an answer Zoro started lapping at the other man's delicious looking collar bone.

"Ah ah have you ah haah had aaalcohol AH yes right there ah in the last twenty four AH hours?"

"Of course." Zoro grabbed Kell's hips and grinded their hips together, thrusting their erections into delicious contact. The doctor gasped and threw his head back as the sensation shot straight through his groin to his very finger tips.

"Aaaah..."

Zoro took the opportunity to claim the other man's mouth with his. He delved his tongue into the sweet cave, claiming every hot, wonderful inch that he would never taste.

"Mmmm..." Zoro moaned, running his hands across Kell's chest, stopping momentarily at each nipple, and teasing them lightly.

Kell broke the kiss with a gasp. "As soon as the alcohol is mmh ah out of your system the effects should nngh wear off-" He pushed Zoro against the wall of the shower and grinded his hips into the swordsman's. Zoro's yelp turned into a sighing moan of pure pleasure. His eyes glazed over as Kell took a nipple in his mouth, lightly biting first, then smoothing it over with his tongue. Zoro's hand came up and undid the band in Kell's hair. He curled his fist as the doctor went to the other nipple, applying the same torturing ministrations.

_//I can't take this much longer. I can't believe I'm doing this. I feel like I'm drunk on hormones-//  
_  
Fear rose inside of Zoro as the reality of what he was doing hit him. At the same time pleasure was ripping through his body as his blood urged him forward. Just as Zoro's fogged mind began to clear, he noticed Kell's mouth had continued moving south. His tongue flickered inside his navel, and then traced a circle around it. Zoro moaned again.

_//Well, I did start it, didn't I? Might as well finish it...mmmm//  
_  
Moving southward still, Kell's tongue stopped just short of a mass of soft, dark, curly hair. He looked up at Zoro, looking down on him. He smiled devilishly.

"I'm going to make you _scream_ pirate hunter." Kell's voice was husky and full of desire. Zoro didn't know the man was capable of producing such a voice. His body convulsed with pleasure, but he forced himself to stop before he fell over the edge.

Kell pressed the tip of his tongue to the base of Zoro's manhood. He slowly licked his way to the tip, flattening his tongue and swirling around the head. Zoro's breathing came faster. He tried to suppress a cry rising from him, but to no avail. Kell closed his lips around the entire head and plunged forward suddenly, taking all of Zoro's length into his mouth.

Zoro moaned loudly. He was on fire and freezing at the same time. His knees began to buckle from the intensity of it. Kell's talented tongue was still at work, caressing the underside of Zoro's manhood.

"Shit Kell-" Zoro warned. Just as he was about to come, Kell reached his hand up and grabbed Zoro's balls and squeezed tightly. The pain kept Zoro from the threshold and drew him back. Kell gave one last hard suck before releasing Zoro. Zoro fell back against the wall, his body writhing.

Kell stood up and stepped out of the shower. "Hold on."

He returned shortly with a small package in his hand. Zoro blinked.

"Are you serious?"

Kell raised an eyebrow at the swordsman. "I'm a doctor. What did you expect? I'm not up to contracting King's Evil at the moment. It's transmitted through the blood. And I don't want to risk hurting you either."

_//Whoa whoa whoa, this guys got the __**wrong**__ idea-//  
_  
Kell could sense Zoro's panic. He would've grinned if manhood wasn't about to explode. He pulled Zoro to him and kissed him gently. He trailed tiny wet kisses from his jaw to his ear lobe.

"I would never hurt you...Trust me." He whispered.

The swordsman frowned, but something of that same drunken feel of hormones swept through his body again, and his body at least relaxed. He was painfully hard, and it was difficult to plan what to do next.

Kell's voice was thick. "Turn around and put your hands against the wall."

Zoro shivered despite the obvious heat. He suddenly became very aware of the water beating down on the both of them. He felt each drop hit his skin. It was agony. Zoro tried to pretend he felt confident about this as he spread his legs slightly. He heard Kell unwrap the condom. All his senses were magnified by ten. Every sound was earsplitting. The pleasure he felt in his body felt as though it would kill him any moment. He could taste Kell's mouth still in his. He squeezed his eyes shut.

_//I'm falling.//  
_  
Kell placed two fingers lubricated with cream rinse at Zoro's entrance. He pressed in slowly. He kissed Zoro on the back.

"Relax and push out."

Zoro did as he was told. The two fingers invaded his body, and he felt it stinging. One thing that had helped Zoro come this far was, when he was in pain, to imagine something worse. He'd done _much_ worse than this. Nothing that he couldn't handle, at least.

Kell's fingers probed deeply, searching for that sweet spot that he knew would make the swordsman reel. After a moment he found it and applied liberal pressure.

Zoro yelped when his knees buckled and his manhood swelled even more if it was possible. He moaned and the blood he already felt was pumping fast began screaming in his veins.

"Kell-"

That was all the more encouragement the good doctor needed. Condom on, he placed his turgid erection at Zoro's entrance. He paused for a moment and breathed in deep. Then he slowly thrust in, impaling Zoro with agonizing slowness. The younger man was almost too hot and tight to bear. It took every ounce of control Kell had to keep himself from coming right then.

"Oh god Zoro..."

Zoro was breathing rapidly, the pain had been momentary, but it had been intense. There was still a dull ache. But strangely, he felt good. Full. All he wanted now was to feel it again, and he wanted Kell to move.

"I'm not gonna break."

Kell ran his tongue down Zoro's back. "As you wish."

He pulled back much quicker than he had thrust in and stopped just as the head of his cock was all that was left inside. He then thrust quickly back in and stopped to monitor Zoro's response. When Zoro had thrust back to meet him, he knew it was a go. He quickened his pace and aimed for that sweet spot, making Zoro moan.

As for Zoro, continuous pleasure shot through his body mingled with pain and fullness and the contact of skin against skin. He met Kell with each thrust, almost embarrassed to be begging in such a way. He couldn't take much more of this. Kell slowly snaked his hand around Zoro's waist and captured the other man's straining cock. He pumped it skillfully in time with his thrusts. Zoro couldn't even find his mouth so that he could moan in pleasure. The fire inside him was already out of control. The room was spinning and then he was flying...flying over the edge. His whole body tensed as he came, spilling his seed onto Kell's hand and the shower wall. Kell could feel Zoro's body clench around him, breaking his last bit of control. He came hard, almost collapsing on the other man.

Moments passed and the water continued to rain down on the two exhausted men. Finally, as it became necessary to move, Kell left Zoro's body and pulled the man close to him. Zoro, still shaky, rested his forehead on Kell's shoulder. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling.

* * *


	7. Explanations

Chapter Seven: Explanations

* * *

Line breaks indicate flash back

* * *

"So what is this King's Evil?" Usopp repeated.

"It's a disease." Zoro said lamely. He looked at Usopp. "I see you've dressed up as well."

"Of course I have. I wasn't going to be the only one who looked out of place." Usopp said. "I'd stick out like a sore thumb."

Zoro rolled his eyes. _//Usopp, with that nose, you'll always...stick out.//  
_  
"Ne, I don't think I stick out." Luffy said. Luffy, as always, was in the same attire.

"Whatever. I _know_ it's a disease. Details man, details! What kind of disease is it? How do you contract it? Is it contagious? How long-"

"Back off the man Usopp. He just woke up _from a coma_. I wouldn't want to answer a barrage of questions either." Sanji snapped. His back was to the group. He was stewing some vegetables in a soup.

"What crawled up your-"

Zoro coughed loudly. He glared at Usopp. "If it will get you off my back, I'll answer your damn questions. King's Evil comes from a certain type of bacteria and attacks in three stages. The first one is similar to a cold, with a fever, and shitty bouts of nausea. Second stage causes the victim to fall into a comatose state that could last anywhere from three days to five months. The final stage happens a few days to a few weeks after the victim has woken up. The disease will go into hibernation, causing the victim to think that they have recovered. During this time the bacteria is actually mutating into a new bacteria that begins to attack your organs. Then it's the usual hemorrhaging and coughing up blood. Some victims have been known to bleed through the skin, or cry blood instead of tears. So in the end you bleed to death. If you've begun bleeding, there's no hope. Luckily both times I've been infected, I was been treated during the coma stage."

"But if you've had it once, shouldn't you have built up a resistance to it?" Usopp pressed further.

"Well no actually. During the time you acquire the disease, to the time you're in the coma, your immune system is thrashed. It only begins to recover after the vaccine has destroyed the disease. And you only need a very small amount of the vaccine to obliterate the disease. So your immune system isn't fighting the bacteria, and therefore can't build a resistance to it."

"How do you know so much about this disease anyway?" Luffy said.

"I was at this very island the last time I was infected which is how I know Kell. He treated me that time too. He made sure I was well informed." Zoro said, yawning.

"But if you knew so much about it, why didn't you recognize it?" Luffy said.

Zoro frowned. "Mainly because I'm an idiot. But also because I never experienced the first stage like I did this time. Last time I was stabbed with an infected needle and the shock of the pain knocked me unconscious. I slept through stage one and went right into stage two. So when I became sick this time I just thought it was another cold."

This seemed to explain things suitably enough.

"So Kell treated you, even though you were ruining his business?" Sanji said.

Zoro paused. "Yes. Something about not- "

"-compromising my position as a doctor. At least, I think that was it, wasn't it Zoro?" Kell walked in and sat beside Zoro. He smiled. Zoro returned the smile with a stony glare.

"Something like that. I should be fine to leave in a day or so-"

"However, if you value your nakama's life, you will encourage him to stay here at least a week. I have no doubt that Zoro is very strong, but last time it took him a month to recover, and I doubt he's become that much stronger that he would be good to leave in a couple days." Kell said to the rest of the crew.

"You might be surprised." Zoro said through clenched teeth.

Sanji turned around. He saw Zoro glaring at Kell, who was smiling somewhat suspiciously at him.

_//I don't like that guy. He looks slimy. Wonder if he would notice if I put anthrax in his soup.//  
_  
Sanji grabbed six bowls out of the cabinet and placed them at the table.

"Luffy, you know my rules. Eat _at_ the table, not on, or underneath."

Luffy whined. "But-"

"No buts."

Luffy huffed and got off the counter. Nami suddenly got up and grabbed Usopp.

"What?"

"Luffy, Usopp, I forgot to bring a suitcase off the ship. I need it . Now. You guys come and help me."

"But Nami, we're about to-"

"I'm sorry Sanji, don't let it get cold!" She dragged Luffy and Usopp out the door.

"We've been here for three days and she's just NOW remembering this?!" Sanji said. He finished setting the table in silence. Kell continued to grin at Zoro.

"So maybe you can tell me, Mr...Jax, was it?" Sanji said suddenly.

Kell looked away from Zoro to look at Sanji, who was pulling something out of the oven.

"Dr. Jax." He corrected. "And you're...Sanji?"

Sanji cleared his throat. "_Chef_ Sanji, if you please."

Zoro snorted in his drink.

"What can I tell you, _Chef_ Sanji?" Kell said, somewhat annoyed.

"Why is it that you helped this pirate hunter back then if he was ruining your business?"

Kell sighed and went back to grinning at Zoro. Sanji placed a large, cooked turkey like animal in the middle of the table.

"Because I'm not the kind of man who would kill another man just to get ahead."

Zoro changed the subject. "I see you've done some remodeling to the old hospital. That was quite I sight I woke up to. And just where did you get the money to do all this? It doesn't even look like a hospital anymore."

"Well, after you left, business just...boomed, shall we say? And this is much more fitting for a hospital in Bertonneau, don't you think? By the way, why _did_ you leave so suddenly like that? I never really knew why you just picked up and left after all we'd-"

Zoro cut him off. "Is that Poojoo Sanji?" He said without taking his eyes off the man.

Sanji cocked his eyebrow. "Ah, I wasn't sure if the vendor was shitting me or not when he called it that. Yes it is. I guess you would know because you lived here for a while, huh? Bet you never had one like this though. Zeff used to tell me about these things all the time, but we could never get 'em at Baratie's because they'd spoil over the long trip and for some reason sailors refused to ship 'em alive."

Zoro decided to ignore Kell for the time being and turned his attention to Sanji, since he was the only one left in the room. "I'd face ten Arlong's before I touched one of those alive. They're _monsters_."

"Don't tell me Roroana Zoro is afraid of a bird?" Kell said, cleaning his nails.

"I-" Zoro began but Sanji cut him off.

"And you're not? I saw the talons and nasty looking beak myself."

"Of course I am. One of those would rip me to pieces. I'm just saying that if Zoro's as strong as he says he is, he shouldn't be afraid of a little old bird."

"Trying to bait me into proving something?"

"Why not? You did it to me..."

_//I hate this man.//  
_  
//_**Why don't you just chop his head off and put it in the soup?//  
**_  
_//Because I don't think Sanji would appreciate that very much. If the cook weren't here I could just give the bastard what's coming to him, but I don't want Sanji to know what happened between us.//  
_  
_**//I don't think Sanji really likes him very much either.//  
**_  
"What did Zoro make you prove?" Sanji said, now curious. He realized, of course, that Kell had probably mentioned it so that Sanji would ask, but he was seriously starting to question the nature of Kell's history with Zoro.

Zoro choked on his drink. Sanji eyes narrowed.

"Nothing. I didn't make him prove a damn thing. You were the one who baited me, you stupid bastard, I was sick-"

"Really? Was I the one who said "Prove it." Hm? I don't think so Zoro. Quit acting like I tricked you-"

"You did and you know it-"

"You're the one who's lying! You're lying to yourself about what happened-"

"HEY! Does anyone want to clue me in here?" Sanji yelled. Silence.

Zoro was breathing heavily. His head was beginning to pound.

_//I must be getting sick again.//  
_  
"It's nothing. I would prefer not to talk about it right here, or now. In fact, I don't want to talk about it at all. Ever." Zoro got up to leave, but immediately a wave of nausea passed over him. The room started to spin and his head felt like it was going to split. He clutched the chair, but it wasn't enough to steady him. He started to fall but an arm grabbed him around the waist and lifted him up.

_//Please don't be Kell...I don't want him to touch me...I can't see...Sanji...//  
_  
Sanji pulled the unconscious Zoro into his arms.

"Follow me, let's get him to a bed." Kell said immediately. He flung open the door and rushed out, followed by Sanji.

_//I smell...roses...//  
_  
_**//Wake up.//  
**_  
_//I don't know if I can.//  
_  
_**//I thought you had to be the strongest, and you're telling me you can't wake up?//  
**_  
_//I'm not sure if that's enough anymore.//  
_  
_**//Striving to be the strongest? Not even to keep your promise to her?//  
**_  
_//What am I really living for...a dying dream? It wasn't even my goal to begin with; I just wanted to beat her.//  
_  
_**//She wouldn't have given up.//  
**_  
_//She had a reason to live.//  
_  
_**//And don't you?//  
**_  
_//If you mean him, no. He doesn't love me.//  
_  
_**//But you love him.//  
**_  
_//I do.//  
_  
_**//And you want to die this way?//  
**_  
_//No.//  
_  
_**//Wake up then.//**_

* * *

_**  
**_

In a couple of days, Zoro would be released from the hospital.

_//I wonder if it will be over after this. Will things stay this way?//  
_  
He was now allowed to move around at his leisure. But a week ago Kell wouldn't even let him get out of bed. Of course, most of the time, Kell was in there with him. Zoro smiled.

_//Things don't get much better than this. Do they? Then why does something feel so off? Guess I'm just used to worrying…/_

_/  
_Zoro made his way down the hall, hoping to run into his lover and convince him to take a break from paperwork. He had been looking for about ten minutes now, making his way from the top level of the hospital to the bottom level in search of the doctor. Usually, Kell was nearby. He never strayed too far from Zoro, and if he did, he always told Zoro where he could find him. But for some reason, this morning, Zoro woke up alone. It didn't bother him too much, but Kell hadn't been by to see him all morning.

_//Maybe a ship came in with wounded passengers. Probably a ship load of pirates. Wouldn't be surprised. But the second and third floors aren't any fuller than they usually are...and this level doesn't seem to be busy. None of the nurse aides seem to know where he is either. Not even Cathy.//  
_  
Cathy, of course, was the head nurse. She was a short, stocky, round, red faced woman with a good heart. Her only flaw was her nose-to-the-grindstone attitude about the hospital and its patients. She wasn't especially happy with Kell's tendency to spend every waking moment "tending" to Zoro either. But she was still a kind woman. She knew every nurse's and doctor's move in the entire hospital. She knew the name of every patient, their room number, and memorized their charts by heart. So for her to not know was indeed an odd occurrence. Especially since Kell was the owner of the hospital.

Zoro had now reached the boiler room and he was started to get angry and worried.

_//...Where the hell is he? If he was going to leave the hospital he would sure as hell tell me at least. Maybe there was an emergency and he had to- //  
_  
Zoro heard voices coming through a metal door to his right.

_//Ah, he must be in there. In the boiler room. Something isn't right…//_

Zoro came close to the door and put his ear to the small crack. The first thing he heard was a rasping, horrible laugh.

"You know, you should really let me take a look at that. Sounds nasty." Came Kell's voice.

"No thanks. I know what you blokes always say. Nix the smokes is what you stiffs always say. So tell me, what about the pirate hunter? What are ya gonna do 'bout 'im?"

"Don't worry about him Fiscal, I've got him taken care of."

"How do I know that, uh? Jus' 'cuz you says he's not gonna-"

"Look, I've got the fool wrapped around my finger. Have there been any mass pirate slaughters around here lately?"

"Well, no but that doesn't mean you can keep 'im like that forever. Pritty soon the bloke is gonna figure out he's healed and when he does, he's gonna go back to knockin' us off!"

"Tsk tsk. Fiscal my friend, have you no faith in me? When I say he's "wrapped around my finger" I mean I'm fucking him senseless. The idiot is in love with me. I can manipulate him any way I want."

" Well...I'm still not sure 'bout this, but when you put it that way, it does make me feel a stitch better. You just keep 'im tied around that...finger of yours. If he makes one move at any of my men-"

"Yes yes. You can go ahead and kill him."

Zoro didn't hear the rest. He was running. Running back up to the top level and to his room. He grabbed his swords and changed back into his old clothes.

_//Don't think. Don't think. You can do that later. Just get out of here.//  
_  
He was back down on the bottom level. The doors where getting closer-

"Zoro! Where on earth do you think you're going?" Cathy blocked him from the doors.

"I'm sorry Cathy...I have to go-"

"I'm sorry Zoro, but I can't let you leave, you're still sick-"

Zoro smiled on the inside.

_//Cathy, you were always good to me. You even gave me extra banana pudding.//  
_  
He pulled Cathy into a tight embrace.

"Thank you...for everything."

He pushed her gently as he could out of his way and ran through the doors. He bolted down the path and leaped over the wrought iron gates.

_//Why...why- Don't think about it right now. What's the use? Just get out of here...//  
_  
Zoro shook himself mentally and concentrated on pushing his way down the market street and through the busy crowds. He was out of breath and feeling light headed.

_//I must not be fully recuperated yet...//  
_  
People were yelling angrily at him, but he neither saw nor heard them. He was reaching the end of the street, where the city opened up into a large harbor. The site that met him angered him more than anything.

_//Pirates.//  
_  
The docks were filled with dozens upon dozens of pirate ships. The streets were full of them, walking around as though they had no worries in the world.

_//This is why. That bastard...I'll tear him apart for this. No, I don't even need to mess with that slimy bastard. Today... today I bring in the single biggest catch the marines have ever seen.//_

_  
_Zoro walked out into the middle of the street. He pulled his bandana off of his arm and tied it over his head. He unsheathed his swords slowly. By the time anyone realized what was happening, it was too late.

* * *


	8. Confessions To A Sick Man

Chapter Eight: Confessions to a Sick Man

Sanji had lost his appetite.

_//All because of you. That was a perfectly good bird too.//  
_  
He sat beside Zoro's bed, watching him sleep.

_//Why can't you just stop being a dickhead and just get better?//  
_  
Sanji wanted to get up and hunt for the doctor, but he didn't want to risk leaving Zoro alone and coming back to find him with Kell. He didn't trust that man at all. Sanji was just about to make his decision when Kell walked in.

"No change yet?" He said looking at Zoro.

"No."

"Hm." Kell was gazing at Zoro intently, as though trying to make up his mind.

Sanji decided to try for it.

"I want the truth. What the hell happened between you and Zoro back then?"

Kell smiled and went to the other side of Zoro's bed and sat down. He discreetly placed his hand over the swordsman's.

Sanji's eyes narrowed.

"Well?"

The doctor sighed. "Zoro and I were lovers."

Sanji's heart stopped and he knew the surprised had registered in his face in a very obvious way.

Kell seemed somewhat satisfied with himself. "I see you didn't realize. Well not a lot of people would really. With him being the way he is. All prickles and needles."

_//So Zoro's gay and that's good sweet Jesus thank you thank you thank you for that but what the hell is with this asshole and who the hell does he think he is holding Zoro's hand-//  
_  
Sanji interrupted his own thoughts. "What happened?"

Kell raised his eyebrow. "What happened between Zoro and I is between Zoro and I."

_//The hell it is.//  
_  
"Don't fuck with me. Zoro is my nakama."

Kell seemed taken aback. He glanced at Zoro then back at Sanji.

"Well then...I see he's very important to you...but tell me first...are you lovers?"

"No." Sanji snapped.

Kell smiled smugly. "Unrequited then."

"I don't know what you talking about."

"It's written all over your face, CHEF Sanji. You were jealous of me from the start. You were jealous when you realized that Zoro and I had some history together. You're jealous now. That isn't the love shared between just nakama."

"What's it to you?" Then Sanji decided to go for it. "If you think you still have a chance with him-"

"That's for Zoro to decide." Kell sighed. "And to tell you the truth, I don't know why Zoro left me when he did. We were quite content at the time. We were in the beginnings of the most wonderful dream when all of the sudden, I was jerked awake and he was gone."

"He must not have been very happy then. You're not a very attentive lover."

Kell glared at Sanji.

"I may not have been a very attentive lover, but at least I was his lover. You're too cowardly to even admit you're gay-"

Zoro stirred. He groaned softly.

Zoro heard a faint voice. It sounded like someone was arguing. He tried to clear the haze out of his mind.

"Zoro, can you hear me?" He recognized it as Kell's. He frowned inside.

_//His voice used to be soothing. Did it change? When did it become so annoying?//  
_  
"Zoro! Zoro! CAN YOU HEAR-"

Zoro opened his eyes. "I can hear you. Shut up."

Kell's frowning face came into focus.

"Wake up marimo. Your lazy ass interrupted my dinner." Sanji's voice wafted over Kell's.

Zoro closed his eyes again.

_//And when did his voice become so nice? I coulda sworn it was louder and whinier than that.//  
_  
"You callin' me lazy, shitty cook?" He said, yawning. He opened his eyes again and saw Sanji sitting with a grin on his face at the end of the bed. Kell was beside him, inspecting him closely.

_**//Hm. Interesting that these two men are on your bed at the same time.//  
**_  
Zoro sat up.

"What happened to me...?"

Kell opened his mouth to say something, but Zoro interrupted.

"I was asking Sanji."

Kell's mouth was promptly shut.

"You passed out cold. You've had a bit of a fever." Sanji said, suddenly very interested in the design of a rug draped on the floor.

_//What's wrong with him?//  
_  
An icy cold panic started to creep up on Zoro.

_//Kell talked to him. What if-//  
_  
"I need to talk to Sanji. Alone." Zoro said. Kell looked somewhat defeated. He shot death glares at Sanji on his way out of the room.

For some reason Sanji didn't feel anymore relaxed now that Kell was gone.

Zoro didn't really know how to start this conversation. "So, Sanji..."

"Kell told me that you and he...used to be..."

_//Of all the damned ways for him to find out...he finds out from my ex.//  
_  
"We were lovers. Got a problem with that?"

Sanji looked at Zoro wide eyed. "No. But…"

"But what?"

"You two seem to have some bad history, and this doesn't seem like the best place for you to recover."

Zoro was surprised at that answer. "You really...don't care?"

"Care? Care about what?" Sanji said with a nervous laugh.

"That...I..."

"That you're gay? Not my business who you get your rocks off with." He grinned.

_//Oh God I'm horrible at this. Why am I so nervous all of the sudden? He knows something is wrong. He knows I'm acting weird-//  
_  
Zoro sighed and eyeballed Sanji wearily. "I know. I just thought you'd be a little more... disturbed."

Sanji snorted.

"Do you really think stupid shit like that matters to me?"

Zoro didn't answer.

"Why do you think I'd be homophobic?"

Zoro frowned at Sanji. He didn't really know why he was pushing the issue. It just seemed as though Sanji _should_ have a problem with it, or else it wasn't normal. "Come on Sanji… you just seem like such a… I dunno, _straight_ guy. Pro-straight and bullshit like that."

Sanji blushed. "Not...exactly."

"I mean, but you're in love with Nami-"

"Not...exactly."

Zoro was confused.

"I mean you're always chasing women, but with Nami... You're in love with her...aren't you?"

"Not...exactly."

Zoro growled. "Is that all you can say?"

"Not...okay. Just because I'm a "ladies man" doesn't mean that I would automatically be prejudiced against homosexuals. You love who you love. I believe in love most of all. In all forms."

_//Is that what people think of me?//  
_  
Zoro looked at Sanji with a puzzled look on his face. It was like he was truly seeing the cook for the first time.

Sanji found the look to be akin to that of a curious puppy dog. He couldn't help but grin. Zoro didn't say anything. He just continued to look at Sanji.

_// I should tell him. I __**want **__to tell him. I shouldn't, he's-//  
_  
"Zoro." Sanji blurted out. "I-" Sanji stopped short. He was terrified. His heart felt like it might leap out from his chest. He couldn't breathe.

"What is it?" Zoro said, looking somewhat alarmed. "What's wrong?"

Sanji was paralyzed.

_//I can't do this. I am a coward. I don't care anymore. If I tell him-//  
_  
"Sanji, what the hell is wrong with you?" Zoro said throwing back the covers and moving closer to Sanji.

Sanji lowered his head. "I'm a liar. And a coward."

Zoro shook his head. "What? What are you talking about?"

"I've lied to everyone from the beginning. Everyone except Nami. Luffy knows, but I didn't tell him. Nami did. I..."

"Sanji spit it out for fucks sake."

"I-" Sanji swallowed. "I also… prefer… men."

Zoro stared, open mouthed. Sanji would have laughed, but he felt more like he was going to throw up. Seconds that felt like an eternity passed by and still Zoro just stared open mouthed.

"...Zoro?" Sanji said. He waved his hand in front of the swordsman's blank eyes. Suddenly Zoro closed his mouth and glared. Color rushed to his face until he looked entirely red. And angry.

Sanji prepared himself.

"You...you lousy piece of shit!" Zoro yanked Sanji by the cuff of his shirt. "That was it? Shitty cook you nearly gave me a damned heart attack! I thought it was something actually significant like you were really a marine or some shit like that! You stupid bastar…" He trailed off. "Wait. You said you… you're gay?"

Sanji hung by Zoro's death grip. "I-I...I'm gay."

Zoro released Sanji, sat back and stared.

_//This is a joke.//  
_  
"Are you lying? I swear if this is some kind of joke-"

"Why would I lie about this?" Sanji snapped. He blushed and mumbled, "I wouldn't lie about this. There wouldn't be a point. I wouldn't make a cruel joke out of it either."

Zoro continued to stare. He was speechless.

_//I'm speechless.//  
_  
_**//So am I.//  
**__  
//He's gay.//_

_**//Yes he is.//  
**__  
//He knows I'm gay.//_

_**//Yes he does.//  
**__  
//We're gay.//_

_**//Yes you are.//**___

//When the hell did all this happen!?//  
  
Sanji looked at Zoro, somewhat terrified and worried. He wasn't sure if he should say something or not. He wanted to know what the swordsman was thinking. Not that it would help much.

So he decided to make for another topic.

"So...do you wanna tell me about Kell?" Sanji said.

That seemed to bring the swordsman out of his reverie. He cringed. "Not really, but I might as well, if we're in the mood to divulge things we'd never thought we would."

"You don't have to-"

"I know. But I guess I need to. I've never told anyone before."

Zoro took a deep breath and began his story. Sanji listened patiently without interrupting. But with every word Zoro spoke, his anger grew.

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"Despite the fact that he helped pirates, he saved other lives too. His hospital is for the whole island of Bertonneau. It would have been an unjustifiable murder and I am not a murderer. So he screwed me over personally, it doesn't give me the right to endanger these people for a personal vendetta. I would kill him now, but things are still the same. He doesn't deserve to die. And now I'm a pirate. I should be grateful for people like him who are willing to help people like us."

"I'd still kick his ass." Sanji grumbled.

Zoro's heart beat a little hearing Sanji's words. "I just want to get the hell out of here."

Sanji frowned. "But that's the thing Zoro. I don't think you're going to get any better here. He's stressing you out and even you need peace and quiet to heal."

Zoro ran his hands through his hair. "I know."

"Maybe we could get you to the next island to rest there."

"It's an idea. And it's not here. But I think you'll have a hard time getting the vaccine from Kell. He wants me here, and I doubt he'll give it to me if it means that I'd leave. It isn't made anywhere else either."

"He'll give us the vaccine or he'll die. It's as simple as that."


	9. Luffy Insight

Chapter Nine: Luffy Insight

"The point is to not kill him. Besides, I've gotta stop being a coward at some point."

_//Its time to face up to the past.//_

_**//He doesn't deserve to be so damn happy and successful. Shouldn't it be obvious why I left? If I left that day, it means that I went down to the harbor and saw the horde of pirates. If he hasn't figured it out he's pretty damn stupid. Why the hell would he even want me back, or pretend to? Pirate or no, I still have morals that would be bad for business.//  
**_  
_//Look at this place. You think pirates are his main costumers anymore?//  
_  
Sanji waited patiently for Zoro to finish his thought. He discreetly gazed at the man through his peripheral vision. It was enthralling to be this close to him and not be overstepping any boundaries.

_//Penny for your thoughts.//  
_  
"I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I need...to put this behind me. I'd rather just leave, but something tells me it wouldn't be fair not to let him defend himself."

"Who cares about fair?" Sanji spat angrily. "Was it fair what he did to you? I know what you're thinking Zoro. You've got that manly honor thing going-"

"You're one to talk Mr. Chivalry." Zoro snapped. "What am I even going to say to him? Hey Kell, you're a mother fucker and I hope you burn in hell."

Sanji thought for a moment. "Yup...that sounds about right."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Easy for you."

_//This isn't easy for me. It isn't easy for me to watch you like this.//  
_  
"ZORO ZORO ZORO ZOROOO!" Came a horrifying screech from the hallway. Zoro and Sanji jumped out of the bed and made for the door. Before they could reach it a colorful blur slammed through the doorway and knocked them both to the floor.

"Oh, there you are." Said Luffy, who was straddling Zoro's hips. "I couldn't find you."

"Luffy." Came a sinister voice from behind. Sanji descended upon the straw hat boy.

"Ne Sanji, you look mad-"

"Get off of him. Now."

"Woo hoo! Okay okay!" Luffy gripped his hat and jumped off of Zoro and onto Zoro's bed. "Yikes Sanji, you're scary!"

Sanji offered a hand to Zoro, who was catching his breath. He accepted it and Sanji pulled him up. The cook helped the recovering swordsman to his bed.

"Hey! Your bed is bigger and softer than mine! I'm sleeping with you from now-...Ne, Sanji...you look mad again- Yikes! Wait! Stop! No! Hey! I'm the captain-"

Zoro would have laughed, but he was feeling particularly ill at the moment. Luffy knocking him down seemed to have devastated any energy he had built up.

//I'll never get better at this rate.//

Zoro closed his eyes. He couldn't hear Luffy's struggles anymore.

Sanji ceased the process of trying to tie Luffy in a knot when he realized Zoro had passed out. He dropped the boy and sat on the bed beside the sleeping man.

"Luffy...we have to do something for him. He's not getting any better."

Luffy unknotted himself begrudgingly and went to Zoro's side. He peered closely at his nakama's face.

"I know. It's the doctor isn't it?"

Sanji looked at the young captain, surprised.

"He's...not a good doctor. Not for Zoro." Luffy said simply.

"We can't take him away from here, because this is the only place that has the right medicine for him." Sanji said.

"I don't think Zoro is sick because of the disease." Luffy said, thinking hard. "He was at first, but Zoro is strong. The strongest. I think its something...in his heart." Luffy looked at Sanji. There was a moment's silence. Then Luffy smiled. "Or something."

"Then what do we do?" Sanji said more to himself.

"He needs a different medicine."

"Hn?" Sanji said, puzzled.

Luffy grinned. "When you're sick, you feel a little bad for a while. Then you get a real bad fever. Then you beat the fever and you recuperate!" Luffy straightened up. "He hasn't beaten the fever yet!" He stuck his tongue out and ran out the door.

"Luffy! Wait!...What the hell is he talking about!?" Sanji sighed.

_//Zoro. Let me take you away from here. I'll make you leek soup for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to keep you healthy. But I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want you to suffer like this.//  
_  
Sanji got up and went to sit by the window. He looked out on the vast city before him. Suddenly he thought of Usopp.

_//Usopp? Usopp...stood up for Kaya. He defended her, or so the story goes. He fought to protect her from someone who wanted to harm her. How is this situation any different? If someone like USOPP can protect the one he loves, why shouldn't I? It'd be blasphemous if I, Sanji, did not protect the one I loved. Zoro isn't exactly what I ever expected but… I'm going to protect him from Kell no matter what. Thank you Usopp.//  
_

_//It was an awkward situation, to say the least. I just up and left. And all this time the dumbass has had no idea why. He could have just killed me then. He had it in his power. Why didn't he? He said...it doesn't matter what he said. Maybe killing me was just too complicated. But what's more complicated than a sexual relationship? If I were trying to get someone out of my way __**conveniently**__ I would just kill them.//  
_  
_**//Honestly?//  
**_  
_//Well...I'd make it so they were no longer physically able to hinder me. Kell could have done that. He could have let me die.//  
_  
_**//But he didn't.//  
**_  
_//And he used me.//  
_  
_**//Did he?//  
**_  
_//Yes. He...he could have killed me.//  
_  
_**//But...//  
**_  
_//He didn't.//  
_  
_**//Maybe...//  
**_  
_//Maybe he was trying to save me. I was sick. I could barely move most of the time. How was I going to defend myself from all of those pirates being who I was?//  
_  
_**//Maybe.//  
**_  
_//And I left him like that. Without even asking him what was going on. But I heard him talking to Fiscal. He didn't have a problem with them killing me.//  
_  
_**//Maybe he SAID that.//  
**_  
_//I don't want to think that all this time I've been wrong. And if he is such a saint why is he such an asshole now? Forcing himself all over me, threatening me over the medicine. He can't be that great of a guy.//  
_  
_**//But he can't be that bad.//  
**_  
_//People can surprise you sometimes. Look at Nami. Who'd a thought?//  
_  
_**//But she was a victim of circumstance. Who says Kell wasn't?//  
**_  
_// It doesn't matter now anyway. Even if it was all a big mistake, even if I am the biggest dumbass in the world, I have a different life now. I have friends, a goal, a promise to keep. It's not like I'd beg him to take me back. I don't want to come back. I'm just peachy with being the bad guy here and having broken Kell's certainly fragile heart.//  
_  
_**//Really? That person, she would have made a mends.//**_


	10. Green Eggs Without the Ham

Chapter Ten: Green Eggs without the Ham

Kell sat in his office, staring at the file on his desk. He hadn't opened it. This wasn't a normal file like all the others that belonged to patients. This one didn't have a name printed neatly on the front of it. On the inside were not medical charts or a medical history. You wouldn't be able to find a list of immunizations in this file.

No, this was Roroana Zoro's file. It was different. There would be pictures, and sketches, and letters, little things of significance. Not a single thing relating to his past, present, or possible future medical condition. Kell hadn't opened it for exactly a year and nine months. There was a period after Zoro left where Kell thought he'd come back. He'd sit at his desk and look through it everyday for hours, until Cathy came looking for him insisting he do his job and stop "moping". He had a hospital to run. Of course this ritual began only after he had stopped making attempts to sneak out in the night and try to hitch a ride on a boat to find the other man. Cathy caught him every time. It was times like those when Kell wondered why he'd hired the woman. He knew now that without her, his life would be a wreck.

He closed his eyes and silently thanked Cathy for her persistence and booby trapping skills.

He opened his eyes and looked at the file again.

_//You had every right to leave. Even today I won't admit to you that I know you knew. I used you. I was surprised it took you as long as it did. But that just means you really trusted me. You may have even loved me. I know I loved you. I didn't mean for it to turn out like that. I didn't even mind when you were ruining my business. I wasn't planning this._

Only when...

Only when I saw how much business improved, and how much more I could do for my staff and the people of this town did I decide to do it. Two thousand new jobs Zoro. Two thousand. I could do that for people. This town may seem fine now, and you were never here long enough to realize it, but when you came along this town was suffering. Two thousand jobs was only a fraction of what I could do for this town and its people. Pirates were customers who I could count on to pay. If I knew they would pay, I could guarantee my staff a decent wage. I wasn't doing it to fill my own pocket...

Noble as my cause may have been, I used you. I never wanted to, and I hated myself more and more everyday. But I couldn't bear to ask you to leave. Firstly, you wouldn't have done it, and secondly, I didn't want you out of my sight. I loved you. I needed you. I lived in fear everyday that you'd find out. My worst nightmare came true, and I didn't even get a chance to explain it to you.

I still haven't. I can't. I try, but the words won't come out. Zoro...I still love you. I nearly died when you came through that door in his arms. I know my heart stopped. You've changed so much. That scar...Would you still have it if you had stayed with me?//  
  
"Dr. Jax...oh good Lord, not that file again. Now you listen to me young man, we've got five patients waiting for a kidney transplant, and we've only got three kidneys! This is not the time to be moping over that swordsman. Now come down to the first floor and I'll make you a nice cup of tea while you sort this out with the Donor Hospital from Gunken Island."

Kell looked at Cathy. The look on her face was one of those, "Better-take- the-chance-now-while-I'm-still-nonviolent" looks. Kell sighed and smiled and tucked the file into his drawer.

"You're right Cathy. Let me find their charts and I'll be down. You are talking about the Hooting Owl crew right?"

"Whoever in this good world would call themselves the "Hooting Owl" crew is beyond me. Might as well slap a tattoo on your forehead that says "Idiot"." Cathy said shaking her head and "tsking" as she left.

Zoro once again awoke in the comfortable bed and, again, the ceiling fan was there to greet him.

"You've got to stop passing out Zoro. It can't be good for you." Came Nami's voice. He felt a warm wash cloth being pressed to his head.

"Where's Sanji?" He said sitting up.

Nami smiled. "He's down in the kitchen. Apparently the cooking staff was very excited about having Zeff's prodigy in their hospital. They insisted he come down and cook breakfast for the hospital staff and some of the patients."

"Ah..."

"He didn't really want to go, but I forced him to leave your side for the morning. I think he needs a bit of a break." She said as she dipped the wash cloth into a bowl and rung it out.

"...I...need to talk to Kell. Do you know where he is?"

"No. I saw him once this morning. He seemed pretty busy. The hospital is pretty full right now. Oh! Guess who's here!"

"Who?"

"Shanks! His crew just showed up this morning! Remember how I said they were pretty well known around here? There's this big party going on down at one of the taverns to celebrate their coming here. Luffy and Usopp are down there right now actually. You should have seen Luffy, he was ecstatic! And as soon as Usopp heard his dad was here...are you even listening?"

"Ah."

Nami frowned. "Jeez, I thought you'd be more excited!"

"I am...I just..." Zoro squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm tired. And I really need to talk to Kell. And I don't want anymore reasons to stay here any longer, and Shanks' crew popping up outta nowhere is probably going to make Luffy want to stay for a while. At least as long as they stay. And God only knows how long that will be."

Nami nodded, understanding. "I doubt they'll be staying long. They said they were in the middle of something, but they wouldn't say anything about it. They only came by to re-stock on supplies."

Zoro sighed. "I need to find Kell." He started to get up.

"Are you sure you're well enough? Why don't you wait until later? When things have calmed down a bit around here-"

"I'll be fine. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go down to the cafeteria and see what Sanji's cooked up."

"Okay. I'm going to the tavern, I'll be back sometime this afternoon." Nami followed Zoro down the stairs and to the entrance of the hospital. She said goodbye as he turned around to head to the cafeteria.

_//I haven't been down here yet. God it's changed. It looks like a hotel...a really expensive one.//  
_  
Zoro admired the paintings and fancy furniture as he made his way back to the cafeteria. When he ended up instead at the O.R., he got confused.

_//This is the way I took last night...wasn't it?//  
_  
"Cafeteria's not there anymore hun. We moved it towards the back of the hospital so we could put it near the garden. Right lovely garden we have now." Zoro smiled. He turned around and saw Cathy standing behind him with a clip board. Everything about her was the same. Same outfit, same plumpness, same rosy cheeks, same kind eyes.

"Cathy-"

"Right mess you are. What are you doing out of bed? I've got specific orders that you're not to leave your room young man!"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "I got hungry and the cafeteria's disappeared. But...this must have been the way I took last night..."

Cathy smiled. "Not likely m'dear. There's two kitchens now. There's the staff kitchen, and the patient cafeteria. My guess is you were in the staff kitchen last night. Small, cosy little place? Looks just like a normal kitchen?"

Zoro nodded.

"Aye, that's the staff one. If you're looking for that crazy young cook, he's in the patient cafeteria. I'll take you there, even if it is against Dr. Jax's orders. You look simply starved to the bone. No meat on you at all. What have you been eating on that ship anyway? You all look too skinny if you ask me. Even the cook! And a skinny cook is bad luck."

Zoro just smiled as he followed Cathy to the cafeteria and listened to her complaints and disapprovals. "And that young girl, barely got any clothes on her at all! And a tattoo! And that stretchy boy, eating all the time but ever gainin nothin'. Right unnatural if you ask me. Strange fellow that one with the nose. Always tinkerin with things. And that skinny cook, always lookin after ya. Almost like you were a treasure or something. Strange folk yer travelin with young man. I hope you stay out of trouble. Though probably not, judging by that scar on your chest. Ah, here we are! Since you're a patient I can't allow you back into the kitchen, but you just sit there and I'll go get your friend-"

And she was off, through a pair of double doors and into the kitchen. Zoro immediately smelled Sanji's cooking. Eggs. His stomach started to complain at its emptiness. He surveyed the cafeteria. It was huge. It looked much like a nice restaurant. Several patients in their nightgowns and wheelchairs were sitting at tables and chatting animatedly to other patients or visitors. One side of the cafeteria had an entire glass wall. Through it you could see a beautiful walk through garden with statues and tall flowers. In the middle of the wall was a door through which you could get to the garden.

_//Well at least he put some of that money to good use. I feel right at home in this place. Things don't feel so...sterile-//  
_  
"Nice isn't it? Must've cost quite a bit."

Sanji was standing beside his chair admiring the garden. "Zeff woulda loved to see this. The chefs are superb. It's a lot like Baratie's back there. They were impressed by what I had to show 'em though. That Cathy sure is a character. Keeps complaining about how skinny I am." He sat down across from Zoro. "Feeling better?"

"Tired. No more symptoms from what I can tell. At least, I haven't had a headache or a fit of nausea yet. And I'm hungry."

Sanji smiled. "Figured as much. I'm having something brought out for you."

"Thanks."

"Did Nami tell you that Shanks is here?"

"Yeah. Look...I'm going to talk to Kell, as soon as I can find him. I realized that when I left, I never gave him a chance to explain-"

"Are you saying there's a possibility that there was a good reason for why he used you?"

"No I'm just saying I never-"

"And this is the kind of man you said would keep medicine from you to keep you here?"

"I'm talking to him. I need to. Besides, it shouldn't matter to you anyway."

_//But it does jackass...I don't know why...but it does. I don't want him to hurt you anymore... I'm really afraid that... yhat he MIGHT have had a good reason...What if you accept it? And stay here?//  
_  
"Zoro, what happens if he did by some chance have a good reason? Not that I believe there is ever a good reason to use someone, but what if he did have a good, unselfish, saintly reason? What then? Happily ever after? What do you do then?"

"How the hell should I know! And why do you care anyway? I never asked you to get involved in my personal life." Zoro snapped.

"Well maybe if you'd stop dragging your dirty laundry everywhere." Sanji matched Zoro's glare. He took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to get involved. And you're right. It's none of my damn business. But it's not like I was the one who waltzed in here to announce that I was going to talk to my ex."

Zoro stared deadpan at the man across from him. "Alright, I'm sorry."

Sanji rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette.

"WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU HOOLIGAN! YOU CAN'T SMOKE IN A HOSPITAL!" Cathy came out of nowhere behind Sanji and whacked him upside the head with a hospital chart.

"Shit! Jeez all you had to do was tell me to put it ou-"

"I'll take no lip from you young man! Being around Zoro for so long I would have thought you'd know what respect is! Now, if I even so much as think that you're going to light up in here again I'll throw you out!" Cathy turned on her heels and walked briskly out of the cafeteria. Several of the patients pointed and sniggered at Sanji, who was grinding his cigarette violently onto the top of the table.

"My God Zoro, how did you deal with that woman?" He said angrily.

Zoro grinned. "Well, I never smoked, so I never got on her bad side."

A young waiter came by and set down a plate heaped with eggs and some sort of green sauce and a glass of water. He smiled and nodded at Sanji then left.

Zoro looked wearily at the green sauce that was dripping on his eggs. He picked up his fork and poked the oozing mass.

Sanji sighed. "Have I ever steered you wrong before? Eat it or throw it away but please don't play with your food. Leastways not in front of me."

Zoro pouted and scooped the goop onto his fork. He took a deep breath and shoved it in his mouth. Sanji looked at Zoro eagerly as he chewed and swallowed.

Zoro looked at Sanji and picked up his glass of water. He took a drink, still looking at Sanji. He picked up his napkin and dabbed at his mouth, still not taking his eyes off Sanji.

"Well?" Sanji blurted out.

Zoro looked at his plate and picked up his fork. He scooped more of the eggs onto his fork.

"Ketchup."

"What?" Sanji said, puzzled.

"Ketchup. The green crap tastes like ketchup. So it tastes like ketchup and eggs, which is how I always eat my scrambled eggs." He shoveled down another mouthful.

Sanji's jaw dropped. "...Ketchup? It tastes like...ketchup? Gimme that!" Sanji snatched Zoro's fork and made a jab at the swordsman's plate. But Zoro was too quick. He yanked the plate out of the way and made a grab for his fork. But Sanji was also quick. He dodged Zoro's attempt to recover his silverware.

"Dammit Shanji! U'm chryin da eat muh food dammit! Gimme muh damn furk back!" Zoro said with a mouthful of green eggs.

"Ugh, swallow your food before you attempt to speak! And I won't give it back until you let me try some! I worked hard on that sauce and to be told it tastes just like ketchup is a serious insult!" Sanji said with a hint of arrogance in his voice.

Zoro glared. He looked at his plate and back at Sanji. He swallowed. "You ain't getting none of this. I'm fucking hungry and there's no way I'm letting you get your grubby hands on my food."

Sanji grinned evilly. "How are you going to eat it without your fork?"

Zoro glanced at his fork in Sanji's hand.

10 minutes later Sanji and Zoro had been thrown out of the cafeteria.

"I can't believe you shoved your face in my eggs. MY EGGS. That was gourmet food! And what did you do with it? YOU PUT YOUR FACE IN IT!!!"

Zoro grinned and belched. Loudly. Sanji grimaced.

"My compliments to the chef."


	11. Regrets

Chapter Eleven: Regrets

Zoro stopped to lean against the wall. He was short of breath and the slightest trace of perspiration shone on his brow.

"You need to go back to bed." Sanji said, concerned that his nakama might pass out again.

Zoro closed his eyes and nodded. "Too much activity. I need to keep the food wars to a minimum."

The cook smiled, relieved.

_//He didn't pass out. We're making progress.//  
_  
Zoro rested for another moment and then pushed himself away from the wall.

"I need to find Kell-"

Sanji cut him off. "Go back to your room and get in bed. I'll send Kell after you."

Zoro eyeballed the blonde chef. Sanji noticed the weary look and rolled his eyes. "Just get your ass in bed and I promise I'll send him up to you."

"In one piece." Zoro added.

"Yes yes in one piece."

"Fully functional."

"Maybe."

"Sanji-"

Sanji growled and pushed Zoro towards the elevator down the hall. He jabbed the up button.

"Sanji, I'm serious. Don't-"

"Maybe!"

"Sanji!"

The doors opened and Sanji shoved him in. He grinned and winked at the other man.

"Don't push the maybe, baby."

Zoro blushed as the elevator doors closed.

_//Baby?!//  
_  
The doors closed. Sanji brought his hand to his head with an audible smack.

_//If I ever get to All Blue, I'll be the biggest dumb ass there. //  
_

Kell sat in his office again. The door was locked this time. It was his lunch break after all, and he didn't want anyone bothering him.

The folder laid there on his desk.

_//Might as well.//  
_  
He opened the folder with trembling hands. The first thing he saw was a sketch of Zoro, asleep, covered barely by a sheet. Kell smiled.

_//Ah yes. That was a good day. There were only seven patients in the entire hospital. I had nothing to do. I came back to our room in hopes of a little afternoon delight...but I didn't have the heart to wake you. You were too angelic lying there, unafraid, no walls or protective barriers. The only thing covering you was that sheet, draped across your waist...//  
_  
A knock at the door interrupted his pleasant thoughts. He groaned as he got up to unlock it.

"Who is it?"

"Your mother. Open the door." Came a distinctly masculine voice.

_//Definitely not mom. It's that damn chef.//  
_  
Kell opened the door. Sanji stood waiting, smoking a cigarette.

The doctor glared at the cook. "This is a hospital, not a bar. If you don't- "

"You sound like that woman." Sanji blew smoke in his face as he brushed past him and walked into his office. "Oh, and what is that I spy on your desk? But it's an ash tray! Hypocrite."

Sanji sat down in the chair in front of the doctor's desk. The papers on the desk caught his attention.

"Please, come in. Make yourself at home." Kell slammed the door and turned to his desk. He hurriedly gathered the contents of the folder and put it in his desk.

_//Well he must have a reason for coming here...//  
_  
"Who told you where my office was?"

"Cathy." Sanji said as he looked around the office.

_//He's sure got a lot of humanitarian awards. For Excellence In Medicine For A Great Service to the Island of Bertonneau Humanitarian of the Year Bertonneau...Man of the Year? Jeez, this guy may not have much of a personality, but looks like the locals like him.//  
_  
Kell sighed impatiently. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"No." Sanji said, flicking his cigarette and letting his gaze rest back on the doctor. "But I suppose you could do something for Zoro."

Kell smiled and cocked his eyebrow. "There's a lot I could do for Zoro."

Sanji regarded Kell curiously. "You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But to be perfectly honest, Zoro doesn't want to be here. And I think keeping him here is only going to make his condition worse."

"Says the chef to the doctor." Kell said sarcastically. "Taking Zoro out to sea at this point-"

"I think Zoro's sickness is a physical manifestation of his mental state." Sanji interrupted evenly. "A very...interesting man pointed this theory out to me. Not in so many words, but I'd trust his judgment over yours any day."

Kell snorted. "Correct me if I'm wrong, I am but a doctor you see, but you're suggesting that Zoro does NOT have King's Evil, and that I, a man who has been diagnosing and treating said disease for 15 years, was mistaken?"

Sanji blinked. "No."

"Then what _are _you suggesting? And make it quick, I don't have all day."

"But you have enough time to sit around and ogle who knows what kind of drawings of Zoro..."

Kell glared. "I apologize if you feel intimidated by the memories Zoro and I share-"

"I don't. But thank you for your consideration. I'm suggesting that Zoro did indeed, contract King's Evil. Now let us use that brain you get paid so much for. Zoro has contracted the disease before, yes? Virus mutations aside, and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm only a mere chef, Zoro _still_ has a resistance to the disease in his immune system. Not only that, but take into account that Zoro quite possibly is the strongest man in East Blue."

Kell stared at Sanji.

Sanji sighed and rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease the frustration this man was causing him. "You're a doctor, don't you know anything about psychology? Or did you not bother to learn any other medical sciences?!"

Kell worried his lower lip. "Are you saying that Zoro has already recovered from the disease, but the symptoms that he is experiencing currently are psychosomatic?"

"Exactly."

"You're not as dumb as you look, and it's a good theory. But where is your proof? How do you know this is all in his head?" Kell said.

"King's Evil is transmitted through blood, right? So if that's how it's transmitted, couldn't it be detected in his blood system?" Sanji said, trying to keep up with his thoughts.

"Yes."

"Then give him a blood test. There shouldn't be a trace of the disease in his blood anymore."

Kell paused for a moment to think.

_//He must really care about Zoro...even if he is an asshole. Why didn't I think of this before? I never knew how truly strong he was. I never had enough faith in him. And if it is psychosomatic, what then? I'm no psychiatrist.//  
_  
"Alright chef. Say the blood test comes out negative and he no longer has King's Evil. How do you propose we treat this? I know nothing of therapy pertaining to psychology. Of course, I'm not the only doctor on Bertonneau either."

Sanji looked at Kell, trying to decide something. Finally, he spoke again.

"Zoro's condition is a result of being _here_. His unresolved issues with you mixed with something that must be bothering him now is what is causing this. I think that if this is psychosomatic...the only cure..."

_//But I don't want him to work things out with you. I hate you. And what if you take him from me? Not that I have him. Yet.//  
_  
"The only cure is for the two of you to resolve your issues." Sanji said quietly. He put his cigarette out in the ash tray.

_//Hm...Selfless. Hate to admit it, but you're a formidable opponent. I'd rather die than see the one I love with someone else...maybe that's what's wrong with me. I should be looking out for Zoro's interests rather than my own. That's where I messed up to begin with. But I won't go down without a fight, Sanji-kun. //  
_  
"And what if Zoro doesn't want to work it out?"

"Then good for him." Sanji stood up and walked to the door, opening it. "I'm only here because Zoro needs to talk to you...Before you go to him... I don't care what your reasons were back then. Hell, I don't even care what happened. But understand this; if you hurt him, I'll kill you. I'd have no qualms about it either."

The chef turned to go then stopped. He looked at Kell sitting in his desk. "And another thing. You called me a coward. Well... maybe in front of Zoro, but sure as hell not in front of you. Keep your filthy hands off of him. He's mine."

Sanji slammed the door behind him and made his way to the stairs. His blood was pumping.

_//Did I actually just say that? I don't care. But he'll probably tell Zoro... So let him. I don't care. I want him to know. I'll kill Kell if he hurts him. I'd do anything for him. I love him. I want him to tell him.//  
_  
Sanji stopped at the top of the stairwell.

_//But I can't. Kell was right. I am a coward. But I love him. I just want to be with him. I want to touch him and know he feels me. I want him to miss me if I'm gone. I want to breathe. I just want to be near him.//  
_  
Sanji closed his eyes.

"But I can't..."

_//But I need him...//  
_  
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

_//He could be my new addiction. I could give up smoking at this rate.//  
_  
He smiled and opened his eyes. He slowly and amiably began to make his way down the stairs, humming.

"Duh duh duh duh...and a lot of bad eggs..."

Zoro stepped out of the shower. Droplets of water raced down his body as he patted himself dry. He felt refreshed, but nervous. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went to the dresser.

_//Where the hell are my clothes?//  
_  
A knock at the door.

"Wait just a minu-"

The door opened despite the protest and Kell walked in. Zoro grabbed the towel self -consciously and back up a few paces.

"I didn't say to come in." Zoro said, mildly annoyed.

Kell gazed openly at Zoro, fully appreciating the other man's assets.

"Sorry, it's a doctor thing, you know?" He was holding a clip board in one hand and a small bag in the other.

"Don't bother getting dressed. I need some blood samples and I need to look you over."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "It's not like you need to acquire the blood sample from anywhere but my arm, and as for the "looking over", there's no need. I'm fine."

"I'm afraid that decision will be left up to me. Sit down." Kell said indifferently, indicating the bed.

_//Why do I have to be naked?!//  
_  
Zoro sat down gingerly on the bed so as not to shift the towel. Kell noticed the effort as he took the needle out of the bag and unwrapped it.

"I've seen you naked plenty of times before, why so shy now?"

"That was then, this is now." Zoro said, blood rushing to his face. He cursed himself, knowing full well that Kell could see his embarrassment.

_//Just...look at the rug. Don't look at him.//  
_  
Kell walked over to the bed and sat down. He wiped the pit of Zoro's elbow with codine and pulled the cover off of the needle.

"This might sting a bit."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Kell carefully pierced the thin bronze skin of Zoro's arm. Zoro seemed not to notice as he kept staring at the carpet. The doctor retracted the needle when it was full of Zoro's blood and put the cover back on. He placed everything back in the bag and scribbled a few notes on his clip board.

Another knock at the door and a young nurse walked in. She smiled and blushed at Zoro's state of dress. Kell gave her the bag and clip board and she left without a word.

Zoro still stared at the rug.

Kell frowned. "This cold shoulder won't do Zoro. Talk to me."

"What was the blood test for?" Zoro said getting up and returning to the dresser in search for decent clothes.

_//That's not the kind of talking I had in mind...//  
_  
"Just to check and see if the virus is getting stronger or weaker. Have you eaten today?"

Zoro nodded. "What the hell happened to my clothes?"

"I'll have a nurse check up on that. When did you eat?"

"This morning." Zoro pulled out the same clothes that he had worn since he got here. They smelled like laundry soap and sterilization. "I need to get dressed."

"By all means." Kell didn't move. Zoro looked at him.

"That means you leave the room." Zoro said, starting to feel tired and irritated.

Kell smiled and got up. But he didn't head for the door. He walked over to Zoro, once again only leaving mere inches between them.

"I should help you. You're sick after all..." Kell grabbed the clothes out of Zoro's hand and pulled the swordsman against him with the other. Their mouths met with a clash.

It took Zoro a split second to register it. Immediately he pushed Kell away and grabbed his sword beside the dresser. He unsheathed it and pointed it threateningly at Kell. Kell smiled coldly.

"What? Don't prefer bottom anymore?"

"Shut up Kell. Don't ever force yourself on me like that again. You don't seem to understand that I am not the weakling I once was." Zoro said quietly.

Kell was dumb stricken. "Come off it Zoro! I never forced you! You make it sound like I raped you! What the hell happened to you out there?"

"I developed a mind of my own. I'm not stupid Kell. I know what happened back then. I know what you did. And I was too stupid to realize it earlier." Zoro lowered his sword.

"You're right. I used you. But you don't know the whole story. You never gave me a chance to explain... Not that it would've done much good."

"Then let's talk Kell. Tell me this revolutionary excuse that will make everything okay." Zoro pulled a black t-shirt out of the dresser and pulled it on over his head. He slipped the pants on underneath the towel and threw the towel on the bed.

Zoro was surprised at his own daring.

_//You can do this. I can do this. I'm not a child anymore.//_

_**//Nineteen isn't much better. Considering he's thirty by now.//  
**__  
//It doesn't matter. I just won't let him touch me.//_

_**//But...//  
**__  
//No buts. I love Sanji. Hey may never feel the same way I do, but I don't love Kell anymore. I won't go back to him just because I'm desperate.//_

_**//That's getting easier and easier to say.//  
**__  
//What is?//_

_**//I love Sanji.//  
**__  
_Zoro grinned as the shock faded and grabbed two chairs for them to sit on.

_//I love him.//  
_  
He tried to hide his grin as he motioned to the chairs. Kell frowned looking from the bed to the chairs. He sighed. He took a seat across from Zoro.

_//What exactly to say...//  
_  
"I...am sorry." Kell said. He looked evenly at Zoro. A moment passed. The swordsman's face was unreadable. Kell remained composed on the outside as he desperately pleaded for a sign to work off of on the inside.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Zoro said, almost whispering.

Kell panicked. "No! Zoro give me a break! I don't know what do to! When you left I never thought you would come back so I didn't expect this day to come! You know what happened. I-"

"I know. But I want to know, from you, what happened. I want to know, from you Kell, why. Why you used me, and lied to me, and probably kept me sick for a month." Zoro's voice began to rise. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you have to make me believe you loved me? Why didn't you just kill me Kell?! Why?!"

Kell remained silent for a moment before he spoke.

"I never kept you sick. But believe me, I thought about it."

Zoro closed his eyes in disgust. "You should have killed me then Kell."

"I would never do anything to purposely hurt you."

"You can say that after what you just said?!" Zoro yelled.

"I wanted to keep you with me Zoro!" Kell yelled back. "I would have done anything to make you stay! You have no idea how I felt when you left-"

"How you felt!? What about how I-"

"Zoro you asked me to explain myself! Will you _listen_ to me?!"

Zoro sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Fine."

Kell took a breath. "I never meant for any of it to happen. I never planned it. I was in love with you Zoro, from the moment I laid eyes on you. Yes, you kept my clientele away. But you also captivated me. Everything that passed between us was real. I felt it as much, if not more so, than you did. In fact, I'd never felt anything so strongly in my life. It was only after you'd been in a coma for a couple of days that I realize the effect your absence had on the hospital. In those few days alone Zoro, I had to hire on 13 more people to keep up with the steady flow of patients. Do you remember what Bertonneau was like? You thought the pirates where ruining the town, but they weren't. Given the right opportunity, pirates saved our island. Always bloody fighting with each other. If they knew they had a safe place to go to, they'd pay without complaint. I could do that for this island. Not just doctors and nurses. Think about it Zoro! Clerks, waiters, cooks, janitors, assistants...Who the hell cared who we were catering to? This hospital provided so many desolate people with jobs...The only one who cared was you Zoro. You were the only one keeping this tiny island from prospering...But you didn't know. And you didn't understand." Kell paused. He looked at Zoro. "I never thought about killing you. I told the pirates who had heard you were here certain things to pacify their fears. I told them things that I would never let happen...Or thought I would never let happen. I knew it couldn't last, somewhere inside I knew. I knew you would eventually get better. I couldn't keep you up in that room forever. But I couldn't let you go. I loved you too much. I loved the people of this island too much. I'm sorry Zoro. I had to help them...I never meant to hurt you, or disrespect your feelings. I knew what you were. It was wrong to use you and lie to you the way I did. But I didn't want to lose you..."

Kell looked away. "I know that apologizing now doesn't make it better. I should have told you then what was going on. I should have let you get angry and leave or get angry and kill all the pirates. I manipulated you. But when I saw you come through that door...Zoro...I haven't truly lived since you left. When you showed up, I felt alive for the first time in two years. I still love-"

"Stop." Zoro said, his voice sounding strangely full. He got up abruptly and turned around.

_//I did this. I harmed them. I caused it all... I was too hell bent to see what I was doing to the island. How could I? I hurt so many people...//  
_  
"How could you possibly love someone who was hurting the people of this island...? I wouldn't have cared at that time and you damn well know it. How could you love someone like that?" Zoro's voice cracked. "I...I...why? You did what you had to. I would have done the same thing...How could you love me..."

Kell stood up as well. "You've never regretted anything in your life. You lived an honorable life then. You still live one now. I know very well what most of my patients were. Killers. Murderers. Liars. Yes, I did what I had to, but you were doing what you believed in too."

"I'm sorry Kell...I..." Zoro couldn't speak. "I was so self righteous. So unconcerned." He turned around but he couldn't look at Kell. He hung his head. "I know now that if you would have told me truth then, I still would have left, or worse. Can you..."

_//No. I won't ask for forgiveness. I don't deserve it.//  
_  
"Why Kell? Why do you still love me? Why did you love me then?" Zoro felt the horrible constriction in chest. He hadn't felt something like that since Kuina's death.

_//I was so stupid. He loved me. And I threw it away.//  
_  
Kell smiled. "Look at us Zoro. What a mess we made."

He reached out and pulled him into a warm, tight embrace.

"I loved you because I admired you. You were pure. You would rather starve to death than cater to a pirate. I loved that about you. If there had been another way to help the island, I would have taken it. But I was too desperate and weak. You were so strong and unafraid and beautiful. You had such spirit that I had never seen before. You still posses these qualities. I told you I loved you the moment I saw you because these traits radiated from your very core." Zoro pulled back and looked the doctor in the eyes. "And you were good in bed."

Zoro snorted.

"Zoro, don't lose faith in yourself. I do believe that if I would have had the courage to tell you, you would have understood. I don't think you're the demon you thought you were."

"But Kell you-" Zoro began. But Kell put a finger to his lips.

"Sh. I'm not done. I did know you. Better than you thought I did. It's only been two years Zoro. I know a lot has happened. I know you've changed a lot. But not so much. You're still the beautiful person you were back then, and you were no demon. I just...should have told you." Kell looked sadly at the other man. "I didn't have enough faith in you, a fault that lies in me."

He gazed into the dark eyes before him. Zoro gazed back, equally transfixed in thoughts of what could have been, and all that had been lost.

Kell brushed Zoro's lips with his own.

"Kell..." Zoro whispered.


	12. The Future

Chapter Twelve: The Future

Kell closed the distance between them. Zoro melted into the embrace, full of regret, longing, and sadness. He continued to kiss the other man back with a resigned fierceness. Kell felt all these emotions run through the other man, and slowly ended the kiss. He brought his hand up to Zoro's face and caressed his skin, looking kindly into the black eyes in front of him.

"You could come back. It's not as bad as all that. It wouldn't be that hard Zoro. We could go back to the way we were."

Zoro shook his head. "You can't turn back time. I loved you Kell. Don't ever forget that. I will always have a place deep inside me, only for you. You were my first love. I'm just so sorry. "

Kell waited for a sharp pain that he knew was coming. When he met only a dull ache, he sighed and stepped back.

"It was too good to be true. Maybe if you had walked through that door on your own instead of being carried in his arms." Kell shook his head.

"What do you mean?"

Kell laughed, somewhat bitterly. "You love that man Zoro. I see it in you. I thought I could erase it from you, because it was just barely there. There was nothing real between you two. But just like I can't change time, I can't change who you're meant to be with."

Zoro still looked at Kell, not comprehending. "Sanji doesn't love me Kell. I'll admit, I have feelings for him. But there's no way-"

Kell snorted and walked to the door. "That man feels the same way about you as you feel about him, if not stronger. Jeez Zoro, I thought you'd be getting better at this as you got older. You've gotten worse!" He smiled. "Not that I'm wishing him well or anything, or that I'm even encouraging a relationship with that man. If I had it my way, I'd tie you to that bed right now and continue to have my way with you the rest of the day." He sighed. "But that's the difference between the doctor and the chef I suppose." He took a last look at Zoro and left, closing the door behind him.

As the door closed Zoro didn't feel a last moments panic. He didn't feel inclined to make a last effort. No last attempt.

_//I didn't think I could do to it for a moment. There aren't any uncertainties with Kell. I'm guaranteed to be loved back with him. But I don't want to go back. I just want a future. With him. Sanji. Even if it's a future as friends. I could never betray myself by staying with Kell. I hurt him so much. He's better of without me.//  
_  
Zoro sighed and rubbed his face. His eyes never got puffy when he cried. His skin was too tough. He didn't cry a lot. Hardly ever. It was rare for him to talk as candidly as he did with Kell.

_//I remember. I used to be like that all the time. So open. And weak. I didn't need to act tough. Kell was the tough one. I was just able to live without all of the aggressive attitude. But it's apart of me now. I feel weird, talking like this. But it came easy. It won't come easy with Sanji. He's almost as bad as me. It's not even me, to be that way. Maybe it is, but just with Kell. Maybe it can be that way with Sanji.//  
_  
He breathed deeply. It came easier now. He felt better. Cleaner. Fresher. There was still the impending doom of the Sanji issue, but he felt somewhat resolved. A knock came at the door again.

"Come in." Zoro said.

It was the nurse. She handed him a sheet and waited for a moment as Zoro read it.

"Patient release form? What is this?" Zoro asked, not understanding.

"Your blood test results showed that you no longer carry King's Evil in your system sir. Dr. Jax deemed you fit and healthy and ready to go. Your hospital bill has been waived. You're free to go sir." The nurse smiled. She handed him a bag. "Here are your clothes. You'll need to sign out at the front desk with Cathy."

He took the bag and she left. His clothes were freshly cleaned and mended.

Sanji sat, brooding in the tavern. Around him a party still raged. Shank's crew, Luffy, Nami, and Usopp were having a ball. He sipped moodily at his beer and scowled. Luffy screamed incoherent words at him from time to time, and Nami would send him a sympathetic wink when she wasn't dancing. Usopp was so thick in the crowd that he hadn't been seen for hours. Finally Shanks got up on a table and stomped his foot several times. The noise died down after a moment or two.

"Alright men! To showers! To beds! I'll not have any of my men passing out in the street or the bar disturbing these good people!"

A collective cheer rose up from the several townspeople that were present. A groan came from the men.

"I'll hear none of your groans you scabberous dogs! Get to!" Shanks demanded.

Good-naturedly the pirates filed out of the bar and headed up the street to inn. All that remained as the townspeople filed out was Sanji, Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Shanks, and Ben. Luffy was asleep on the table as Nami look at him incredulously.

"I'm not carrying you." She sighed. Ben smiled and offered to carry him to the inn.

"Thanks! He's so much trouble." She said kindly and followed Ben out of the bar. Shanks grinned as he saw his friend being carried out the door.

"Wait for me!" Usopp said, gathering up his bag and goggles from the counter. He waived at Shanks. "Good to see you again! Bye Sanji! Cheer up!" He said encouragingly as he left.

Sanji rolled his eyes but silently thanked the awkward man. Shanks walked over to his table and sat down across from him.

"You haven't moved from this spot all night my friend. Something bothering you? Worried about your nakama? He's still in the hospital I heard."

Sanji sighed. "Something like that."

"Ah." Shanks said. "You know, he's tough. If he could take on Mihawk, this is nothing."

"He's already beaten the illness. Right now it's a battle of the soul, I think." Sanji looked at his beer with a mixture of expressions on his face. It was somewhat forlorn, with a mixture of worry and spite. But it changed so quickly from one to the other that Shanks couldn't pin it exactly.

"Well, I'm not sure I follow you. But whatever it is, I'm sure Zoro will do what's right. By himself and his nakama."

Sanji laughed bitterly. "Yes. What's right by him and what's right by us may not be the same thing."

Shanks thought for a moment.

"You know, this island has some really interesting history to it. There are always new tales popping up that sound as though they're as old as the island itself. The one I heard most recently was of a medicine man and a warrior. The medicine man loved the warrior, but the warrior was so strong, and protected his clan so fiercely, that he was the only one who ever needed the medicine man. This did not help the clan or the medicine man to trade with others, because the warrior killed off anyone to trade with. The clan began to starve, and the medicine man suffered. The warrior did not see his mistake; he did not see that he caused his people to suffer. Then one day the warrior fell ill from a mysterious disease. The medicine man did all that he could to make the warrior better, but the illness kept the warrior sick for a long time. While the warrior was sick, people began to come to the clan again to trade, and the medicine man prospered from the warrior's absence. The medicine man felt sorry for betraying the warrior like he did, but he saw how his clan prospered. Soon the warrior got better, and saw that his own clan and lover had betrayed him. In his anger he left the clan, and never returned. The medicine man was heartbroken. He knew he should have told the warrior what was happening, and how the village had become rich. He did not have faith that the warrior would understand. He did not give him a chance. But in the same turn, the warrior left in his anger, without giving his lover a chance to explain. To this day, the ghost of the medicine man wanders unhappily in the deserts, in search of the warrior, in hopes that he might explain and beg his forgiveness. Neither the warrior or his ghost was ever heard from again." Shanks ended his story and took a sip of his beer. Sanji looked at Shanks, trying to search for a deep, underlying meaning that might come with the story.

"That's a good tale Shanks. But how does that apply to me in anyway?" Sanji said.

Shanks thought for a moment. "Well.it's a good story. You might tell it to Zoro when he gets better. But you have to tell him that I told it to you." Shanks smiled and chugged down the rest of his beer. He got up and went to the door. "G'night."

Sanji smiled, shaking his head. "So drunk. He's worse than Luffy." He looked at the clock.

_//It's late. I should get to bed. Tomorrow is bound to be busy and filled with hangovers.//  
_  
Sanji left a couple of pieces of gold on the bar and said good night to the bar tender. He stepped into the fresh night air. The sky was clear. Stars shone brightly next to the nearly full moon. It was cool, but the breeze was warm. He let the wind embrace him as he walked down the empty, silent street towards the inn. The sandy streets blew dust at his feet. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit in his mouth. He took a deep drag and blew out.

_//I wonder if they talked. Don't think about it. I won't be able to sleep. Tomorrow… what will it bring? Such a profound question. Tomorrow. Indeed.//  
_  
Sanji passed the large building that was the hospital. It was quiet, and a lot less busy than he expected it to be. He saw the lights of the emergency room. Through the double doors he could see Cathy sitting at her desk, scribbling on some paper. A man walked up to the front desk and handed her a paper. She smiled, got up, hugged him over the counter and kissed him on the cheek. He turned and headed for the door.

_//…Wish that were Zoro.//  
_  
Sanji stared at the man as he walked out the doors. He seemed to be heading towards him but Sanji dismissed the thought. He couldn't see him very well in the dark.

"Sanji?"

Sanji started. He dropped his cigarette. It was Zoro.

"Zoro! You scared the shit out of me! I didn't know it was you coming out of there." He stamped on the cigarette. "What are you doing? Why are you out here? Did you talk to Kell?" Sanji asked, trying to sound unconcerned. He began to walk and Zoro followed him.

"I'm leaving. Kell gave me a doctor's release with a clean bill of health, and yes, I talked to him."

"What? What about the blood test?"

Zoro looked at him. "How did you know about the blood test?"

Sanji smiled apologetically. "I was the one who suggested it."

"What? Why?"

Sanji scratched the back of his head. "Well, it's a long story. But you're out now, so you must be happy about that. So…"

Sanji wanted to be daringly casual and ask what had happened between Kell and him, but he didn't have the nerve.

Zoro looked at him in the moonlight as he walked. He smiled.

"So."

Sanji pulled another cigarette out of his pocket. Zoro grabbed his hand. They both stopped. Sanji looked at him.

"Smoking's bad for you. You should really stop." Zoro took the cigarette and threw it.

"And since when have you taken it upon yourself to look after my health?" Sanji said, laughing and continuing to walk.

_//Have a little courage.//  
_  
Zoro shrugged. "Since you became my nakama."

_//Look towards the future.//  
_  
"Sanji, Kell told me what really happened. And I want you to know. I don't know why. But I've kept a lot of things from Luffy and everyone else. I don't intend on telling them about this either. But I want you to know what happened. This isn't easy either. I'm not someone who easily puts their problems, past, and feelings on the line. You know that. It's even hard to admit _that _without being disgusted with myself."

Sanji nodded and kept walking, but at a slower pace. Zoro proceeded to tell Sanji of what Kell told him.

"But if that's true… Zoro, aren't you staying?"

Zoro looked at Sanji and laughed. "Aside from the fact that I made a promise that I never intend to break with Luffy, and aside from my vow to become the strongest swordsman there is… Kell and I had our chance. Fate or destiny or whatever can't be changed and I can't make things the way they were. I don't love him anymore Sanji. I regret. I regret all that was lost. But that is all I can do. Right now… I can only look to the future."

Sanji was at a loss for words, so he just tried to contain his smile. But he couldn't. He knew he was grinning like an idiot, but life was too good right now.

Zoro noticed the smile, even in the dark.

"What are you grinning about?"

"Heh. Nothing. I'm just ready to get out of here. Ready to get back out there."

Zoro nodded. A feeling of disappointment settled in him, however.

_//I can't be satisfied with just this.//_

//Give it time.//

//No! No more time. I wasted and ruined enough time as it is.//  
  
"Sanji." Zoro said abruptly. Sanji stopped and looked at Zoro.

"At the rate we'll never get to the inn Zoro." Sanji said, trying to sound annoyed.

Zoro opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out.

"What is it?" Sanji said, starting to get worried again. "What?"

"I." Zoro began. "I need to...tell you something."

Sanji began to get frustrated and nervous. "Just tell me dammit! You're starting to piss me off!"

"Well it isn't easy!"

"Stop being a baby about it and just tell me!"

"Who are you calling a-"

Sanji covered Zoro's mouth with his hand. "If you're not going to tell me, then don't get me worked up like this. If you're going to say it, say it. But don't jerk my chain."

Zoro nodded. Sanji glared. "Are going to tell me or not?" Zoro nodded. Sanji removed his hand.

"Sanji… do you have a last name?" He blurted out.

_**//What in the hell!?//  
**_  
Sanji's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"Is that-"

"No! I mean I lo-..Sanji." Zoro took a deep breath and swallowed his fear. "I love you."


	13. I Hate You

Chapter Thirteen: I Hate You.

Approximately 12 hours later...

Zoro stood with Usopp and Luffy in the shade of a tree, waving good bye to Shanks and his men. The day had taken a very hot attitude. Summer was approaching this island, and everyone was feeling it today. Everyone except Luffy it seemed.

_**// I guess rubber doesn't sweat.//  
**_  
Luffy was obviously disappointed that his friends had left so soon, but he didn't let it or the weather get him down. In fact, he seemed to have a fresh view and a revitalized attitude.

"Yosh! I can't wait to get back out there! Let's leave now!" He said loudly, his body barely containing his excitement.

"We can't leave now." Zoro said, wiping the perspiration from his brow. "Nami and the cook aren't back from the market yet." He said, trying to be annoyed, but rather excited himself to get back to sea. The cool wind of the sea would help the hot weather. He was nervous besides, which doubled his anxiety, and felt like he was going to fall to pieces if something didn't happen. Sanji hadn't said anything back that night.

_//He just looked at me and then kept walking. He hasn't spoken to me since then. Of course I've also been hiding, so even if he had wanted to talk to me, he wouldn't have been able to. Why does it matter? I did it. I told him. I put all of this behind me, and I tried. That's all I can say. I thought just because he was… It doesn't matter now anyway. New start. Time to get out there again and be the strongest. Who needs love when you've got a sword...//_

Zoro shook his head free from such thoughts. He followed Luffy and Usopp out of the shade to where the Going Merry was docked. On the harbor there had been placed dozens of barrels full of water.

"Oooooh, Zoro! Let's get these on the Going Merry! It wouldn't be so good if we left without the water!" Luffy said, as if the task was a new adventure. Zoro sighed and tried to smile.

Sanji sat miserably atop the wagon that Nami had rented from a local merchant to carry all the supplies. It was filled to the brim with food, essentials, and thankfully, soap. They had forgotten soap last time. It was a very long month, that month without soap. Summer was approaching and the heat would make the entire crew smell to high heaven. He didn't think he could last the whole summer without soap.

Nami watched Sanji out of the corner of her eye. She couldn't tell if it was the heat that was making him upset or the fact that when Zoro had arrived with him last night, no one said a word and they both went straight to bed. "Ne, Sanji, what happened last night? You two just walked in and went to bed. What-"

"Nami-swan, if it's okay with you, I'd rather not talk about it." The mule that pulled the wagon made a protesting groan as he made his way down the street.

Nami frowned. "Well of course it's not okay! What happened? After everything I went through to try and get you two to open up, you won't even tell me what happened? Was my work was in vain?!"

Sanji sighed. The blazing sun had zapped his strength. All he wanted to do was find some shade and sleep. But despite the exhaustion, he couldn't keep his mind from going over last night again and again.

_//I wish I knew what happened. I really do. I would tell you, if I knew. I'd tell __**him**__. But I don't know. I couldn't speak. It took all that I had to even move after he said it. He said it. He loves me. I was afraid. But underneath it all... I felt as warm as I've ever felt in my life. But damn my fear. I can't even tell him that I feel the same way. I'm too afraid... To be touched. To be loved. To love. To touch. I told myself I could do it. I was so brave in front of Kell. But I cowered in front of Zoro. Why?! What am I so afraid of? Judgment? Rejection? Hurt? Embarrassment? Or losing myself... In him. That if I'm not enough? This is true love. Think this happens everyday? And I'm losing it because of my fear. I'd rather get hurt, be embarrassed, be rejected, and be judged than miss out on true love. //  
_  
"Earth to Sanji-kun! Are you going to tell me what happened or not?!" Nami said impatiently, fanning herself with some parchment she had bought for her maps.

Sanji sighed again. "I don't know Nami. He came out of the hospital and told me he wasn't staying. He told me what happened between him and Kell, and why Kell lied to him. By all rights he should be with that man right now. But he said that he was putting this past behind him, and that his chance with Kell was gone. He told me he didn't love him anymore." Sanji stopped.

"And?" Nami said.

"And then he told me he loved me."

Nami gasped. "And? What did you say back?"

Sanji paused. He looked at Nami, his expression desperate and worried. "...Nothing."

Nami did a double take. "W-what? What do you mean, nothing!?"

Sanji looked away. "I didn't say a damn thing Nami-swan. I just turned around, and walked back to the inn. I haven't spoken to him, looked at him, or even seen him since then."

Nami gasped again. "What the hell are you thinking, you idiot?! You _love_ him! What are you doing, treating him like this?! At this rate he _will_ go back to the doctor!"

"I KNOW! I don't know what's wrong with me Nami-swan! I love him. I've loved him ever since I met him. But I never thought that there would ever be a chance! I'm so afraid that something is going to happen but I don't know what! Whenever I think about it I just want to be with him but I don't seem to be able to handle the reality of it!" Sanji yelled. Several people in the market were staring at them as they went by.

Nami stared at Sanji. "Sanji, as for being afraid, everyone is afraid. Not just of love, but of everything. I never took you to be someone who would let those fears in his heart. Usopp maybe...but even he had the guts to get the girl. Sanji your fear is irrational! You already know that Zoro loves you! He admitted it! He left Kell for you. Do you understand that? He could have stayed with Kell and had a love that was guaranteed. But he loved you more! He was probably ten times more afraid than you to admit his feelings. He's Roroana Zoro for god's sake! That is not a man who sits down and discusses his feelings! He's an ex-pirate hunter!"

"Are you saying that I don't have anything to risk in going in to this? That I'm not putting myself out on the line? Because all of this, none of it has been easy for me. There are times when I'm alone, thinking to myself, and then it's easy. I want it. But in front of the world, in front of Zoro-"

"Sanji you are not in front of the whole world! And if you're worried about people judging you, then I wouldn't recommend going into this relationship. If you're not strong enough to love unabashedly, then you don't deserve him!"

There was a silence. Nami's words resounded in Sanji's mind.

_//Fine.//  
_  
"I know very well that I don't deserve him. I'm a coward. But I'm not enough of a coward to let myself miss this chance." Sanji stood up on the wagon and jumped out.

"Hey-" Nami began.

"Meet you at the harbor!" Sanji yelled, and was off, running at top speed down the street towards the dock.

As Zoro carried up the last barrel of water, he began to get dizzy. That familiar wave of nausea washed over him again. He teetered slightly on the long plank. Quickly he yelled for Luffy to grab the barrel.

"Luffy! Grab it!" Luffy's arms shot out and the barrel flew onto the ship, knocking Luffy over. Zoro regained his balance and stood for a moment, trying to calm him stomach.

"Zoro, what happened?" Luffy said, getting up and setting the barrel with the others.

Zoro nodded and walked the rest of the way up the plank. "Luffy, I'll be back out in a minute." He headed for the room that the four guys shared. He collapsed on the small futon beneath the hammocks. He was hot, sweaty, and tired.

//Must need more time to recuperate. It's probably the heat too.//

He closed his eyes for a moment to rest. He could feel himself drifting to sleep faster than he normally would. But the sleep welcomed him, and he didn't force himself to stay awake.

Or rather, he didn't need to. A moment after dozing off he heard the angry yells and shouts from people outside on the harbor and was jerked awake.

Plunk. Plunk. Plunk. Plunk. Plunk. Plunk. Bang. It sounded as though either someone had come running up the plank of Luffy had brought an elephant on board.

He growled and got up to open the door. Instead, as he reached for the handle, the door opened with a mighty crash, knocking him to the floor.

Zoro looked up and Sanji stood in the doorway, panting.

"Sanji what-"

"Are you okay?" Sanji said, closing the door and grabbing Zoro's arm, pulling him up. The swordsman was about to answer, but before he could begin, Sanji grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a rough kiss. Zoro tensed and went momentarily numb. He stared at Sanji as the man pulled away from him as quickly as he had pulled him close.

"Uh-" He released Zoro's shoulders and stepped back. "I- uh…"

"You what Sanji? BARGE IN HERE, KNOCK ME TO THE GROUND, THEN KISS ME? IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY!?" Zoro yelled angrily.

Sanji flinched and grimaced. "Well..."

"WELL MY ASS! YOU EITHER MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMMED MIND RIGHT NOW OR FORGET IT!"

Zoro grabbed Sanji in the same manner he had grabbed him and pulled him close. "Listen to me. I'm hot, tired, and sweaty. What's more, I hate you. I don't love you. I never loved you. You're a pain in the ass. And if we're going to spend the rest of our lives together and grow old together, you better get that straight, got it?! Because I don't want to have to repeat it!"

Sanji's eyes were wide. He nodded, understanding. "Got it."

"Good." Zoro huffed, panting. He was beginning to feel better already. He wrapped his arms around Sanji's waist and pulled their hips together. A blush crept across Sanji's face.

"I love you, shitty cook." Gently, he brushed his lips across the blonde man's. Sanji immediately grabbed tightly to Zoro's shirt, almost as if holding on for his life. He pressed his lips roughly against Zoro's and wrapped his arms around the other man.

"I guess I can live with that." He smirked before diving in for another kiss, his hands already working on stripping away Zoro's shirt.

"Good." Zoro grunted.


End file.
